A Satsang Excerpt
From The Doorkeeper (recording available)
God or Source, who IS YOU, has spread the universe with Joy, but you cannot know Joy whilst you believe you are a self. You look for pleasure or an apparent kind of ‘better good’ than the one that is already here: YOU in the Deep.
Whilst you play around with an illusion of separation, this is what you bring form to. You literally become a doorkeeper of the illusion and you make sure you do not see that you are keeping the illusion in your door. You close that door with super-intelligence and pretend you didn’t close it. You become a victim, a man and woman of what you closed yourself into in self-belief, instead of believing the being that you are. You make the doorkeeper invisible. You say, “I'm not the one doing this. I'm not the one creating myself to be a victim. I'm not the one searching for love, when in truth if I just let go of the door by leaving it open, I would instantly know who I am.” You become a doorkeeper when you pretend there is something wrong instead of knowing, as Awareness, Truth. You prefer to keep the lie inside, in your self.
The doorkeeper however is also the one who has the power. How much you keep the door open or closed determines where you place the power. When you believe you are a victim, you are simply closing the door. When you keep a door closed, all the power flows into your self and you begin to be the separating force within the universe that divides everything. You seek to keep everything the same. You seek your like and you create its opposite of dis-like. You believe your relationship is about ‘you as a self’ but it is actually about the ‘I that I AM’ aligned with the Heart and the Deep Beyond.
When you keep the door wide open you discover a greater power that is Real, the power that YOU ARE, the power YOU knew in your mother’s womb and in the womb prior to your mother’s. In Truth, your mother’s womb is an antenatal room prior to you as Being coming into full form, the fullness of what YOU were in the ‘Real Womb’ and even prior to that.
Everything is ‘being prior’. Everything is ‘be prior’ in the light of your Real Self and when you appear to go into form. No matter how you turn this, you are always ‘being prior’ to what you are moving in. What you are moving in or ‘your experience’ comes after you have moved. Where you have moved to, form follows. Where you move to as Awareness in Being power flows to. Where you move, form is given. You leave a trail of what you empowered, what you formed, what you believed and whatever understanding or misunderstanding you discovered.
You never discover in form. You discover in YOU. You think you are discovering in a particular event, with a particular feeling and a particular like or dislike but the discovery is always YOU being prior to where you are. You are in your trail instead of moving ‘awake.’ You miss the opportunity of giving pure form to what YOU are.
Everything in the universe follows your ‘awake.’ That is the same as saying you are Life or you are Love. Form comes after what you are being. It is instant and immediate, but nonetheless, you are already moving into the next openness of YOU, no matter what your forms tell you. If you are in your trail it is because you thought form can show you what you are, that experience can show you what you are, but it cannot.
The door to your heart must remain open; completely open. If you keep the door open you are being a true doorkeeper, one who knows doors are a threshold to greater openness. In this practice of being open you begin to realise that you ARE the super intelligence. You are both the conducting force and the immutable still point of power from which the universe flows from and is created.
When you leave the heart open you gain entrance to your deepest mystery and highest possibility. You gain entrance to the Unknown. If you could know beforehand what was in the door ofyour heart, what would be the point of life? It would be already known! The whole point is God or Source does not know Itself because It is without beginning or end. That is why creation happens in an instant. It is an expression of Pure Beingness creating form.
This is the reason why light, energy and their forms are in constant change. Even light is in constant change. It is a paradox: the only constant of light is light, but there IS a movement or a flow inside of light that is never-ending because it is an expression of the Unknowable.
The Unknowable would not express if it was static and if it could be known as a ‘this’ or a ’that’. You are not a static being; you are a dynamic being. You cannot ever fully know yourself through a particular form and a particular experience. You are designed to open and flower as a constant realisation of the deeper Real YOU. You can only know: “This is Good. This is Real. I AM the Good.”