A day by day collection of quotes, excerpt and gems from the sessions with B and pictures from the Crete Retreat 2018

The Calling - Love Knowing, Moving Manifesting The Deep

Opening Night

“We gather to build a bigger body to realise the brighter body of Awareness.” 

“Gatherings like this make so much more possible. So that the smallest Calling that we know ‘in here’ without knowing what it is,  can flower and have life in such a group. Your heart is already in response to a much deeper, clearer orientation in your life. “

“When I look at you, I see such wonder.”

You Called Everyone to Be Here

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Do you realise the kind of energy you have brought with you? You have brought tremendous energy with you to this retreat and if there is any fear in you, it is not of 'him' (B), it is of You. It is the fear of this tremendous energy and power, which is masked by our belief that we are someone that can do right or wrong, good or bad, when in truth everyone is looking of their own light in all these wonderful mirrors. Have a look around at these wonderful mirrors...

Realise that YOU called everyone on this retreat to be on this retreat. You called everyone to be Here. You have called each other. When you look at someone's face your brain configures the face as if you have met them before on the surface but the deep ignores that impression and pulls you to know them in the New that they have actually entered.

You are not the same one. I will not discuss the past with you. You are not the same one. You are a New One . You are different. It is not that you did anything to make yourself different. It is just how it happens. You are all different. Welcome...

I look at you and I see such wonder. Have a look around at this wonder called 'us' Let us all use this moment right at this beginning, to breathe in the power of this openness that is here in all of us. Because we have all showed up....

Gatherings Like This Make So Much More Possible – Your New Nervous System

The human nervous system can handle so much more. You are all sitting Right Now in a field of bright potential. Your mind won't know about it , but your heart does. Your heart does. Your heart is picking this up. You are picking this up, this connection. 

When you look at each other, when you glance around the room, know that ‘All This’ is your new nervous system. This is the nervous system that you have always wanted. This is your new nervous system for you to be able to put through so much more of the deeper realising of what your essential nature is. Truly look at it! Everyone, wherever you are looking from, THIS is your bigger body. This is why we gather. We gather to build a bigger body to realise the brighter body of Awareness. 

Stay open. Your eyes are changing right now. You have a greater capacity to see from within. There is no one standing on their own, all alone. There is the vastness of this Light of Awareness shining right now. Gatherings like this make so much more possible. So that the smallest Calling that we have known ‘in here’ without knowing what it is,  can flower and have life in such a group. Your heart is already in response for a much deeper, clearer orientation in your life. 

The Deep Waved

Last night there were some huge waves here, the Deep was coming up and it waved. It thundered and lightning shot across the sky…I would say that your life has been rather like that storm last night for you to have been able to arrive here.. You will have already been looking at all those things that you keep safely tucked away in drawers, in houses full of drawers and you have been emptying a few drawers, making space for a deeper Calling and Belonging. 


Day 1

“Within the retreat our true, open, heartfelt enquiry will constantly be, not just“Who Am I?” but “What Am I?” and from there only to know the self, this human self that seems to be the heart of our problem and our difficulty.”

"If there is pressure don't make it 'your' pressure. be precious with it, say " Yes this pressure can stay...fully open..This pressure is perfectly ok to be in the field." 

"The body is the perfect translator of Being, not the mind."

"The Light of What You Are is longing to realise what IT IS. It's the only constant here.
I call it The Calling."

"The body is a vessel of Awareness realising the consciousness that the vessel is made of, which is the Light of the Self. I am Self-Aware, Self-Illumed and Self-Knowing. I Am That."

"Understanding the world is how you understand yourself."

"The only enquiry on this retreat is What Am I." 

“The moment you make distance you make time, so it will take you time to travel that distance.”

“We know in our sense of self that it takes time to move from one apparent place to another. But it takes us no time to BE what we ARE whatsoever and does not require a movement of any manner of function.”   

“The body is actually a streaming of Light and Awareness forming in the presence of I Am with no distance, no time, no space and no objective experience for It is already full of what It Is.” 

“What if I can 'Just Be'? All distance of time, space thought and feeling simply collapses into what I Am and there is meeting. No distance. “

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I Am That I Am

As we truly simply soften, the knowing ‘I Am’ deepens. It does not go into relating. It does not move into objective experience, such as thought, feeling memory or any form of accountability. Nothing. It is a pure recognition - ‘I Am’. It is the absolute recognition. 

Isn't it clear, ‘I Am That I Am’?  There is no colouring of experience, it is non-relative.  I Am that I Am. We discover the truth of this ‘I Am that I Am’. Even within this non-relative objective nature it is a shining brightness.  

I may close my eyes and there is a shining brightness in the blackness of ‘I Am Aware’. I open my eyes and there is a shining brightness appearing as life itself functioning, moving, living. Still non- relative, not relative, not relating. It is like a flow of the light of What I Am, having function without relationship. No mind, no body, not someone, not two. Yet it is having dancing forms of life. It has function, a functionality that is not based on individuality separateness or even of sense -  outpouring. 

With your eyes closed , in this recognition of this non-relative functionality, notice there is softness in the openness of I Am and the ‘I’ then, points beyond itself as an I. 

Up on the level of embodiment or form, as Awareness comes up in the ‘I Am’, there is still softness and openness. There may be energy and sensation but the ground of it is one's own Pure Being. Still no function in terms of relative but the functionality is quite simple and, often missed: we are exploring Consciousness itself. All this is an exploration of Conscious Awareness. Clearly I Am aware I Am and I KNOW I Am Aware. 

No one functioning anything. There is openness, softness, there may be clarity but there is a biological metaphysical movement up on the surface. The heart is beating. You may know or not know this. It is clear to you that the body is being lived.The body is BEING lived..but is there a body? 

We open our eyes and we are still in the knowing ‘I Am’ and we are seeing clearly that on the ‘outside' (until we discover there is no such thing as an ‘outside’ ) the cosmos, the universe, the body is moved in functionality. It has function. I is a living expression of Being. You have to really look at this - there is no one looking at it as ‘a someone’ but there is Being knowing aware for I am That I Am. 

 

Waking Up In The Morning

This is where we are in the morning really but you see, as ‘Awareness knowing I Am’ waking up in the morning makes no sense! It make no sense from this place! There is no waking up - there is only Awareness knowing I Am. But we have to use these words...

When waking up in the morning there is this moment of Pure Being that is non-doing and yet there is functionality: the body is living, the sun is shining…if it is. On the outside everything is functioning or is it being lived? Then, let’s say there is a movement to get up, 'I Am knowingly aware I Am' gets up in the morning. As Knowing Awareness moves up into the forms of experience, then apparently there is this  movement of body-mind or a sense of self. The body-mind is not being triggered. It is already being lived because it is non dual, not separate from Awareness knowingly knowing I Am that I Am. It is an activation by no one whatsoever. 

Then there is this arising of a sense of self or a sense of being someone. This apparent individuation of I Am. "Hi Love  did you sleep well? " Up on this apparent level of being someone, Awareness knowingly aware has entered a streaming of its own pure forming.

Within the forming there seems to come an experience of colourisation of Being Aware. I then seem to be someone in the colours of yesterday and apparently I have a tomorrow, a future. It is a colour. So Awareness comes up and mind speaks as if it is 'You'.

One Field Of Aware Knowingly Aware

As we move in this together it is one field of attention, one field of Awareness, one field of Aware knowingly Aware. Then there is no one with an overload in their nervous system. The nervous system in the human body is the biology of Pure Awareness. Pure in nature, metaphysical as it builds, without doing anything, its own expression of I Am. And the nervous system conducts this knowing of I Am up into forms of experience that are not belonging to a 'somebody' but to the totality - I Am that I Am.

As Awareness Knowing comes up into the levels of its own expression of Being, which is in a conditional nature the conditions of this level of forming do not obscure: I Am that I Am. 

Discover!

Discover 'What I Am '. How deep does this Knowing go? How deep does this 'aware-ing' go?  How wide and real is this ? You will also discover this idea of a separate sense of self, often called 'me'...

We have gone somewhat into the true nature of Awareness in the knowing I Am. There is most definitely endlessly more to go into. Endlessly! Now we will just touch on this idea of a separate sense of self - conditional. There is no one that is not, has not, will not experience the conditional nature of a believed separate sense of self. 

Thought Invents Distance And Time

Notice that thought has a distance and any distance invents time. You then have to travel in thought in time. So a thought then will have you looking at the past, a thought will throw you into the future and a thought will have you drop the Pure Knowing I Am and move as a thought to reach a distance and relate to that distance. 

Thinking is distance, thought and time. Awareness is distancing Itself from What It Is as I Am and it is a constant misidentification with What Is. We are taught this. Our tendency then is to think about ourselves which distances our Knowing. In truth you cannot ever be distant from What you Are, but you can up in your mind. You distance the form of yourself from What You already Are. By believing in a thought you create the time that distances You from You.

It is all a mirage but that is what is happening and that imprints in the nervous system, in the body, in the heart in the mind as more images, more colouring and more obscuration.  

Awareness that knows 'I Am that I Am' plays the game of moving, not as What It Is in Being-ness, but it creates a distance from its true nature. ( but that is just a game) 

The moment we think we move by thought, which creates in our sense of self time to be what we already are.  The moment you make distance you make time , so it will take you time to travel that distance . 

We know in our sense of self, it takes time to move from one apparent place to another but it takes us no time to BE what we ARE whatsoever and does not require a movement of any manner of function. 

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Being Streamed

Is it becoming clear as we sit here, that this room is being streamed? Streamed, by I Am that that I Am? And all this is arising and it is arising and having form simply because on this level we have a brain that forms what is arising and creates sense of the perception and knowing I Am that I Am. 

The body is actually a streaming of light and Awareness forming in the presence of I Am with no distance, no time , no space and no objective experience for it is already full of what It is. 

Whilst Awareness takes hold of one thought and identifies with a thought, not knowing what a thought is, the brain turns the thought into a solid experience " I am someone ' and right there the conditionality of our self, since we believe we incarnated, of our family, since we believed this is our family....of our nation, since we believed we are a nation ..all these experiences, the body-mind will make real because of you Awareness, for it must do what you believe you are. It must.

But really this is a stream of Pure Consciousness right Now. On this level a formed experience of What Is. Light itself is form and it carries the much needed patterning of life to make all his wonder possible in human form. For even a tree has a being. You see the tree..it appears to be physical to you up on the level of perceived physicality..drop a little bit deeper and the tree becomes as much Being as you are. It is Being a tree. So it has a metaphysical movement, a movement of light and energy made of the appearance of materialising real and functional. 

Biological, apparently physical, metaphysical mixed with patterns of proposed past and energies of a finer sense of my being. There is more to What I Am than just the biological, just the physical, just the mental.

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The Collapse Of What I Have Become Into What I Am

Mostly, in our schools and in our lives we are not shown or pointed in the direction of What I Am. We are pointed in the Becoming , into ‘what I will become’ but not towards ‘What I Am’.

What we are looking at here is 'not becoming'.

(B starts a little dialogue…)

Oh that's not very 'becoming'!

That’s right , it is not very becoming …

 Oh so what is this that I feel? 

 That's the collapse of what you've become. 

But I don't like the feeling of that! You are telling me this is what I have become? And it is collapsing and that is the feeling in my sensation? That’s the disturbance in my heart and in my mind and that's the disturbance in my relationship with you and others and this life and me ?

Yes, Yes!

You mean there is no one else that is causing this ?

Yes!

That gets even more disturbing ! 

Yes ! 

But this yes...

Yes? 

is more than yes. 

Yes ? 

But what is this yes? 

I suggest you go into it ...

This Yes is What I Am...

Yes! 

....and it is perfectly okay for what I have become to collapse into What I Am ...

Yes ! 

..but then I am immediately What I Am ! 

Yes ! 

I feel so good ....

Yes 

..but this Goodness is already what I Am ! 

Yes ! 

So you mean I have been running around from pillar to post, from one relationship to another to objectively believe I can get What I Am when it is here already?

Yes...

Welcome to the retreat space !  Then we discover that time and thought can end and no one can do it. It naturally collapses into That that I Am. And that opens What I Am to What I Am. 

Then the Beloved is the collapse of what I become into What I Am. Basically that is Self realisation. But don't expect a great light or some wonderful experience. It is so simple. That is What I Am.

The Absolute is absolute knowledge of What I already am. That is the Absolute - I Am that I Am. Keep your 'I ' in your own heart. 

The Absolute is the knowledge I AM. Impossible to think about. It is Reality itself. It is The Self realising what It is. It has no distance, no time no space. It really is Now. It is more than the word intimate. It is intimacy itself. Then there is no distance between What I Am and What I Am - Oneness. The images and energies collapse into the openness. It is the end of What I have become. 

It is not another beginning, it is Newness - the deeper streaming and outpouring of What I Am naturally pours in. 

This Body is An Outpouring Of Now

This body is not what it seems to be. It is an outpouring of Now. Never really has it had any past to relate to. Awareness is enforcing the past on this streaming of a body. Awareness is enforcing the past on the body.  to see how wonderfully pure and intimate we already are? 

Why long for Love when you are already it?  But you must enter it  ...

Tender Openness

 As Awareness see that you are aware of the sensation of what you may call 'your body'. Close our eyes and isn't there a lightness within the black and beyond any colouration that might appear as an image?   Is it not true , as Awareness knowingly abiding in the heart, there is tender openness within what appears to be a body?  Isn't it instant ?

The more Awareness looks within, without any need, the inner doors open and Awareness becomes more finely aware of a different kind of body. Forms are not so defined ..but amongst this as Awareness enters within, there may be discomfort on some levels. 

But as  'I-Awareness' is ok with the discomfort, totally, doesn't focus on it and doesn't need it to disappear - more opens within. Then as Awareness we are entering not only our own body, we are entering a larger body of this apparent group of people-beings. 

 But then we're opening as that larger body to the body of humanity. It simply goes deeper and deeper. We are beginning to know or understand,  there is not 'someone doing this' . It is 'I', Awareness,  opening to what I deeply authentically Am. 

 As I soften within the heart, soften in what appears to be a body, there are not only shifts in my Knowing and in Awareness, but there can be energetic shifts in the body ...sensations. That is simply that as Awareness I soften into What I already Am and the forms of appearance of 'What I Am' begin to shift, change and re-design the human expression. I have no need of this re-design - it is utterly natural, the New simply begins because there is infinite possibility for I Am infinite. 

We may face the 'trying' in our body, where we try to open. Endeavour not to pull out of it . Stay open with what is arising, see how the body is not something to reject.  Fully embrace that as Awareness knowingly aware. We may have this sense of a larger body. Not that we need the experience - it is just there, this deepening of our Knowing-Aware amongst any discomfort that may come or go. So simple. 


Day 2

"Listening is the clear endeavour to clearly see colourisation of experience. Why would we ever do that - to not listen through a colour? Because we know we are so much more than a colour of Life. We are the Life and That that Life pours from."

"Yes, we are ordinary but there's an extraordinary non relative opening that's moving up into all that seems to be relative. "

"Freedom is the inherent pure presence of your being Aware, One with Aware Being."

"Light doesn't penetrate the shadow, it permeates it. in other words, it's the ground for all things to appear. That is the 'I' that 'I Am', the One that's listening to these words Now."

"The moment you give your vote to anything, you give your power. You divide."

"When we come to look at The Form Reality Practice, and we look at the practice in terms of the daily life in the manner of which within the practice, we are open and we are awake, we begin to know the streaming. We begin to know the sensation of It, the energy of It, the Light of It and then going upstream, the depths of It.

As you come through, you come through all of this, You as Awareness and 'this' is made of this. Awareness moves, it manifests in this Now. This level of intelligence makes you believe that this form has past but what it has is Presence. It's made of Presence.

"There is pain that must not be refused. Pain is simply misidentification with the surface display as what you first are. The misidentification is because it's all made of what you are. That's why it's so real."

“Within The Form you' will discover that you come deeper, away from the relative into the directness of Being Aware. You come upon the energies and consciousness, the depths of the non-relative into Non Being."

"See you long for return. Then you'll give up this concern for this appearance of self."

"When you lose your self, you will realise your Self, Awareness. That's how it is. Life is moving and bringing this about quite naturally in the very cells of manifesting through The Calling into Aware Being, the return of what went out coming home."

The Light Of What One Is Shining, Moving, Speaking

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There's really only the experience 'I Am', I Am That I Am. Then it seems to filter, become individuated. Then it seems to personalise experience. But the Light of what one is can shine up through the self and the person, free of self experience. The original Light of Awareness shining as 'I'is moving and it can speak. It certainly sees and knows and it knows no other.

Cemetery Symmetry

The first ground of this retreat is recognising the recognition of the cemetery. I know you all want to arrange your death. It is going to be like this or like that… No, it is going to be like ‘it is’. The first few openings here is the ground of Being and the cemetery. You will see ‘cemetery’ differently. You will begin to see symmetry in the cemetery. It is the opening to the Beyond, which is what you deeply are.

One With And As Being

To be one with the Being is not an escape. To be one with the Being is to be One with and as Being. That means you are no longer projecting 'someone has a shadow'. You're no longer projecting 'I have a shadow'. You may find the intelligence and compassion to speak openly and freely but it doesn't mean you're going to be heard. It doesn't mean you're going to be seen. It doesn't mean there is an outcome of this. What takes place as we truly awaken, Life moves. Sometimes the weather is calm, sometimes there's a hurricane ...

Where I Come From …

Awakening is where I come from, where I go to with each and every breath. When we awaken, we're given a magnifying glass. For you maybe I'm that. In a retreat space, everything begins to be magnified so that you can see and know What Is directly and be fascinated with It. And within that fascination, realise what it is made of, which is the One who's listening to these words now.

Magnificence

Do you know what magnifying means? Magnificence. There is only the magnificence of What Is and that One is What Is and it is at the heart and soul of each and every one of us. You will always discover that in Aloneness. Then you discover you are not alone. You are that One. From that moment on everything begins to unfold to realise What Is and it knows no end.

What A Mudra Is - The Form Reality Practice

What a mudra is, is what the body is. It is a symmetry of Being, the shape of Being, not the shape of the body. The movement of The Form is the shape of Being, not of the body, but the body takes the form of the shape of the Being in its symmetry. I suggest you don't get too interested in that. You'll come away from What You Are. Then you discover that the flow of the encounter of reality has within it a divine symmetry that is the display of all life within the universe. Somehow vast systems appear in the universe that are vast symmetrical patterns of the expression of divinity. The human body is that but unrealized and unintegrated in the whole of the planet. That's the highest possibility.


 Day 3

“What You Are is totally unfamiliar or unknown - it is called NOW.” 

“It is the collapse of the belief of You that reveals Light unto Itself - I Am that I Am.”

"To be completely open is to allow it all whilst belonging to something deeper."

"Don't move away from the challenges. They are an entrance into your glow."

"The Form Reality Practice integrates deep knowing and allows patterning to come home."

What Distraction Is….

A beautiful conversation about our core distraction, the belief in ‘being someone’.

Q: When I am seeing a pattern  and I don't want to engage it or not give power to it and remain in the knowing there is a level of distraction.  I know I am ‘no-thing’ but when I 'want' to stay in the Knowing it  is a distraction which doesn't let me abide in what you have called 'Absence'

B:  You are saying that the distraction doesn't make you absent?

Q: Yes I am not remaining in the Absence.

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B: Absence is ‘all there is’. You cannot remain in the Absence. It is impossible because Absence is all there is! How can you remain in it? You don't 'go' there. You shed, you unveil, you surrender. You cannot 'go ' to Absence . You recognise that it is all there is. There is actually no one here. It is the end of colouring experience.

It's a good enquiry...

What distraction is, is the belief that you are someone. What distraction is, is the belief that there are others that  are causing you distraction. What distraction is, is the belief that others who can stop you from 'having absence', which basically is pure peace. So you want others to stop distracting you so that you can have some peace. And you believe that peace if for yourself but it is not for yourself because your self is also made of absence . Whilst you keep thinking about yourself you will believe that you are not absence. 

Awareness creates the distraction to maintain the division between the sense of self and the deeper knowing . It believes that it must find what it is in the manner that it likes, which creates an opposite of dislike. So it is continually seeking. It seeks absence in things and it is the things that you lose. What you lose is the idea that there are things  and that there are others and that things and others fulfil you in the absence of your  primary state of openness. So the distraction is the belief that love or peace belongs to someone called Raphael. It is Raphael who is the problem, the belief that he actually exists.

Everyone will be hearing this in myriads of different ways in what appears to be personal circumstances. What is actually happening is this: Nothing is meditating all forms back into itself.  (It is this: shows infinity symbol with his hands) 

All forms are resolved only within Awareness being what it deeply is . Uncontracted open. The contraction will only disappear but essentially What You Are has no need for it to disappear in your openness. Within your openness you get to know yourself and the structures you have invented and created to keep yourself separate of being Nothing .  You get to experience that, you get to experience those structures. 

What I am saying here is that you are not someone who is 'doing this. This IS what is happening - it is the return of form to its source . And the return of Awareness to realise the first light that is the 'I' 

When we first awaken there is an 'undoing' taking place within the cells of our body, within the brain, the nervous system, the heart and within our relationships.  We untangle our Awareness from association with objective formed experience. "I like you. I don't like you. I want you. I don't want you. You're good. You're bad" 

 All that in truth is ever happening is: Nothing is meditating all forms back into itself. 

 Right now, it looks like we are having a conversation but really we are opening to return the forms that are spent. We are returning those forms within our spaciousness and we will know ourselves as that happens, as forms are returning back through the 'I’. 

So we speak and there is no one doing it but somehow in conversation there is openness- Awareness expands and Knowing becomes the light, which is Love and there is a shift of everything into a new place. 

First off distraction is the belief that you are a someone and then all the forms of experience that within your reflective consciousness mirror to you through polarity (like and dislike)  that you are a someone. Within this body-mind matrix you could say you are building a dam on the river of the Light that You essentially Are.

In awakening everything will come to you to unblock that flow.  No one is doing it! It is Awareness realising what It deeply is. 

 Most of us won't go this far because it unveils so much and there is seeming great loss in this. It is not the loss of someone . It is the loss of our mind . That's what we are frightened of. But Love is all that is here. And Love is functioning for Love is Love and Love clearly is loving.

Q: What I am really receiving is that the question, which I thought was a personal question, begins to be a question of Consciousness. It feels very detached from the person who can ask a question.

B: Detached from the person or detached from the belief there is a person?  It's all a bit back to front because you have this mind-set that says that you must transform.  But there is no one here who can transform! 

It is the staying with ‘What Is’ in openness. In utter openness it all begins to collapse back into your emptiness and what was obscured is revealed. In seeing through the obscuration, the blocks, the dams with no need to get rid of them, you discover what You deeply are. As those blocks, all the structured patterns of 'me', collapse there is loss. There is  the belief that you can lose and you will go through that .

But it is precisely the collapse of those structures that makes the revealing of this endlessness, this boundlessness absolute. It is the collapse of the belief of You that reveals Light unto Itself  - I Am that I Am. 

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The Form Reality Practice - Within That Rest An Extraordinarily Ordinary Life Lives

Within The Form for instance, the moment we ‘tune in’, it is not just an encounter with Reality.

There is a serenity within the encounter with Reality for Reality is what we deeply are. Within that serenity, because it is your own pure fragrance of Being, Awareness can function from an entirely deeper dimension and you begin to have a power of seeing sand knowing that is beyond your usual manner. It is fulfilment.

Not that can ‘do’ anything in this, but I am saying that that re-encodes Reality, that seeds this reality from another height, from another depth, from another place.

 Something utterly deep begins to awaken and it is the One who is listening to these words. There is this inner opening. As Awareness relates only to this inner opening of the deeper Knowing (although not understood) it is able to come from it. This slows down all the egoic mechanisms within the body-mind and there is rest. And within that rest an extraordinarily ordinary life lives and Awareness begins to realise there is not the seeing of 'things' there is the knowing of the Knowing: I Am.

In a very simple real way an entirely different function happens. Where there is no one doing but it 'does ' very well..


Day 4

“Anything we could possibly ever say, ever feel, ever experience points directly and immediately to what truly is, to That that truly is. It does not point away from it. “

“As we begin to truly BE together, rest together, we could use the word ‘inquire’ but in truth there is no-one inquiring, Reality naturally unveils Itself to Itself. It may appear to be ‘you and I’ but really it is what It Is.”

“I keep pointing to what is ‘first’. It's veiled. It IS Here but it's veiled.  
It seems to be covered but what one seeks is what one IS. “

 “It is quite difficult to hear that your pain is non-personal isn't it?
Nonetheless, when we are ripe enough we hear it. It doesn't mean the pain is going to drop away,
it simply means, it is non-personal for ‘I Am’ is not a person.
The person is a Reality-movement that has form. In a very real manner there IS an expression of the Totality. Then the person is no longer ‘someone’ but an apparent individuated Wholeness. “

“No image is ‘What One Is. “  

We Are Gathered By The Calling - We Are Not Seeking

 We are not ‘seeking’ here. We have not come to seek. We are gathered very much by the Calling, the deep Calling. It's a constant Calling. It's in the flowers, it’s in the trees, it’s in the hands, it’s in the feet, it is everywhere. It seems to be a veiled Reality.

 What I point to is that the listener, including the speaker, IS Reality, the very light of Awareness but not ‘someone’. It is just an appearance that I am sitting here and you are sitting there and there are others around. It is a veiled Reality. We do know this and yet the tendency is to forget what we have discovered, what Awareness realised in its depths of Knowing. It gets veiled again.

I keep pointing to what is ‘first’. It's veiled. It IS Here but it's veiled.  It seems to be covered but what one seeks is what one IS. The mind will pick that up and believe it is my name, my label, the ‘someone’ I appear to be, the person, the self and it keeps putting many constructs around Presence.  Countless constructs around the ‘What I Am’, constantly constructing the idea ‘I am a someone’.

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When we speak together here, we are allowing these constructs to just be, not denying them. But we are not seeking, we are not even trying to understand. We are Being together. In that kind of Being-ness together, Awareness becomes sharp, opened. The constructs then begin to collapse into what Awareness is; formless and yet form is veiled Reality; form is made of Awareness. 

 What's so beautiful about this is that as we are Being together there is a natural unveiling of Awareness to its depth of Knowing. And within Awareness opening, by not doing anything other than deeply listening, there is a response to listening. And there is no-one listening!  It’s just ‘listening’. Within this listening there may be a response of that listening at depth, and when I say depth, I'm not talking of a depth that is away from What Is.  It is just Depth.

 As we begin to truly BE together, rest together, we could use the word ‘inquire’ but in truth there is no-one inquiring, Reality naturally unveils Itself to Itself. It may appear to be ‘you and I’ but really it is what It Is. It might then seem that someone over here or over there has particular experience but that is not the truth. The truth is there is only ‘experience of What Is’ at whatever depth that takes place in and whatever ‘It is’, unveiled. 

Am I not ‘You’ speaking, am I not ‘You’ listening?

Within this Being together, here we are and I appear to speak like this. Am I not you speaking? Am I not you hearing? Find out how that is.  So as we are together in this ‘not doing’, unveiling ‘What Is’, if you say: "I didn't get what you said…", that is great! That is a door. Let’s enter that door together. Then you won't see ‘a teacher’. If there is such a thing as teachers, what they simply are, is doors or windows to what already is profoundly real, which doesn't belittle anything, for even a speck of dirt is profoundly real; ALL is veiled or hidden Reality.

ALL is Veiled Reality - Your Pain Is Non-Personal

There is nothing that you can ever experience, even great pain, that is not veiled Reality and not ‘What You Are’. The mind will tell you otherwise and will constantly construct a person that is a victim of someone else, a victim of circumstances. It is quite difficult to hear that your pain is non-personal isn't it? Nonetheless, when we are ripe enough we hear it. It doesn't mean the pain is going to drop away. It simply means it is non-personal for ‘I Am not a person’. The person is a Reality-movement that has form. In a very real manner there IS an expression of the Totality. Then the person is no longer ‘someone’ but an apparent individuated Wholeness.   

On Vagueness

in response to a retreat participant…

Vagueness is veiling ‘vacancy’. Self is emptying, which means constructs are collapsing naturally, through Awareness no longer seeking but being present, still and open in this moment called ‘Now’. Nowhere else to go to, nothing to seek. Seeking has ceased.

In that moment one might experience ‘vagueness’ because there is vacancy and the mind wonders: “What is this nothing?” but it is the one that is listening to these words now. Then the mind will speak and act as vagueness and you might say: “Well nothing is going on for me here. It’s all a little bit dull and vague.” Somehow we are very uncomfortable with being totally vacant which is openness, which is That in which all this appears in and returns to. All is made of vacancy and it is all but vague. Within it is utter passion. Not passion for any ‘thing’ but passion for ‘What Is.  

Vagueness is Awareness veiling its entrance to the Deep because it has preference on the surface. It wants to keep this idea ‘I am a someone’. It is a very good game.

Somehow in the mystery of it all, Awareness is able to know Knowing revealed as deeper Reality - but that is not ‘a thing’ that is a shining of Reality - and in the same moment know a level of self-form that is veiled. There is a connection of the deeper Knowing as Awareness with formed experience. A connection with the deeper mystery opening and a level of veiled mystery in terms of personalisation of experience.

I Call That Ripeness ‘The Calling’

This meeting is actually a mirror of daily life. There is a Calling here but the Calling is constant whether you are making a cup of tea or you are walking at the beach or you are at work or whatever it is. The Calling is there. To recognise this, just pause, and you will know the Calling and the opening. Or you will know veiled Reality and you will know it is veiled. There has to be ‘ripeness’ in all this and paradoxically there is no-one who is ripe.  There is just ripeness. I call that ripeness The Calling.

Entering Being-Aware Together

As we simply enter Being-Aware together, Knowing is no longer tied up as ‘knowing someone’, knowing a person, knowing like or dislike, knowing anything.  Knowing begins to deepen and expand in a very unusual manner as Awareness appearing to be ‘someone’. This is because there is the unveiling of Awareness to the light of its Knowing and in that this depth of Knowing matches how life is moving on the surface.

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Awareness Constructs Identity

Awareness, in the mind constructs an identity through having experience through time and space. Awareness puts it all together and it moves as a self-image. It is electro-magnetic and it really is powerful because the listener is Reality itself. Anything it believes in becomes real.

A Living Understanding Of ‘What Is’

At some point there comes a level of living understanding of What Is. You begin to truly rest. You realise: ”My God I'm not the person. The person is a vessel made of what ‘I Am’, and what I Am speaks and conveys what I am unveiling on the surface and what I am realising in the Deep. They are the same One.  

It is a veiled reality up on the surface unveiling Itself to Itself and there is no-one doing it. Can you see this is the end of suffering and an opening to the wonder and beauty of what truly is?

That in itself forms a new Reality within what appears to be humankind for as one unveils oneself to oneself, the self-level begins to match the Being and the Being pours into the self and it is made of Being and is no longer a power unto itself, which is a construct. Passion moves, wonder moves, mystery moves, gorgeousness, all pouring from the one Goodness. 

About Karma

Q: What do you see around Karma? I was in a yoga tradition for many years and they say that all that we have done is coming back to us, the good things and the bad things…Many masters speak about this.

B: The idea that you can create Karma for someone who is not actually here is an illusion. You can believe that you are here and then there will be lots of Karma. I don’t use the word Karma, I say :"Keep calm, the game is over". I say quite simply that the belief that thoughts and feelings are ‘you’ is a construct in the mind.

 When did who you believe you are appear? If you have a look at this, you may see that mostly you cannot remember when you were a child. There will be some memories but there are huge gaps. That is because you are Being, not a construct. As a small child there was no form, you didn't have constructs and there was no sophistication of mind. You were taught that.

 You can't remember when you were a child because you were never ‘anyone’.  You were the enjoyment of Being - innocent. Sophistication of the brain and you enter the conditionality, which you must.  But you never actually enter the condition. It just moves because of What You Are, which is beyond it. Awareness arises, forms arise in Awareness; it seems that someone is arising, it seems that someone takes form.

As Awareness you then begin to believe that the movement of this level is ‘you’. You begin to really believe it and take it on, whatever the culture, whatever the religion, whatever the circumstance.  That's what you begin to do. At some point you yearn to break free of it all but you ARE free of it all.

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Karma is believing you need something else other than ‘What Is’. You mentally build objects of experience and you imprint the need to feel in a certain way of polarity.  YOU are constructing Karma, negative and positive forces when really you are already ‘Pure-I’ and beyond.  You are already that.

 You don't have to get rid of this construction, or Karma as you called it, because it is simply ‘not you’. When You-Awareness sees through all this and responds to Being you are no longer building a separate sense, a programmed, patterned self that keeps informing you.

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Karma is the idea that you are ‘someone’ and you are building objective experiences around positive and negative vibes and vibrations, which you are constructing. You Awareness, not ‘someone’. And so naturally a sense of self is constructed out of the belief the polarity or need or want. As a baby-Being that didn't happen. The so called building of the body happened naturally. We can call it ‘construction’ but it is an utter mystery. It just builds around this impulse of Awareness moving to this level of its own light - quite natural.

You don't see a baby moving, you see aware Being moving. And when you see a baby sleep deep, you are not seeing a baby sleep deep, you are seeing depth of Being. It seems to form as the baby or ‘you and I’, but it is how this level naturally forms what Awareness IS in the light of Being. It is conditional up on this level, in other words it passes, it comes and goes.

In truth, there is no-one here undoing those karmic levels, those constructions. They just naturally fall because they cannot be sustained. They can't be sustained. A hundred years from now, are you still going to be around? Can you just stay in this body? Do you need to sustain this body? Or will it naturally collapse? Collapse into what? It is simply just a movement of formed Presence being aware - an appearance.

You feel the patterned idea of this level, this society that you have constructed by belonging to it. It is held together by Awareness. If you didn't hold anything together in terms of experience, Pure Awareness would simply be realised, unveiled and you will always discover it is YOU.

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Try and get rid of that Karma, those patterns and the very action of that is building more. You can't change this level by the use of this level. Only the Deep transforms the ‘What Is’ and all forms transform in Pure Awareness - non-identification only. There's no one here to transform anything. Try to get rid of anything and you invent more pictures, more constructs. Live ‘What Is’ totally open and Awareness unveils itself to itself.

Such a thing as Masters? Beautiful beings revealed. Is there anything more to say than that? Doors, windows - doors without hinges of identification, windows wide open. That is why in openness, extraordinariness comes out of your mouth, out of your body.

If the surface is made open, in other words non-identification with ‘What Is’, it's natural for the Being to surface as it were. And you speak and know from Being. You might call those people Masters but there is no one mastering the mind or the condition. There's only ‘This, that is being what it is’, unveiled.

 

You Are EVERY Human Being - You Are Humanity

Q: I am thinking about all the things that are happening in the world. People are hurting and killing each other and destroying the planet and when you say Karma doesn’t exist then it means for me that everybody can just go ahead with it all.

 B: Would you like to hear that YOU are killing the people, you are killing the planet?

Q: No, actually.

B: Well you are. Because you ARE everyone.  You see everybody believes that they are a ‘someone’ involved in all this. You are not ‘someone’. You can play that game but I guarantee that your body will drop away and you will realise so much more. That is a construct in the mental. The planet doesn't need to be saved, it does not. What needs to be saved is you believing you are ‘someone’ but even that is not quite true is it? For in truth there is no one here. You are doing this in your mind and your mind is appearing as your personalising experience. And then yes, it does show up on this surface. It shows up as seeming destruction but you cannot destroy what really is here.

Most people don't want to hear this. No-one is doing all this. It is in your head, it is in your mind and your mind then does something to do something about that, that nobody can do anything about.

When you begin to get that, in the ease of your dropping it all, Being fills what appears to be form and you begin to see truly ‘What Is’. You see through all of it. Then it is not someone who will change this, as if it needs to change, it will naturally change because of where YOU now come from. If you believe there are others doing this, there will be more negativity because there are no others. YOU are doing this. You see how difficult this is to hear? You are doing it by believing you are separate from your partner or from the chair, from anyone or anything. All this has to be seen through.

You are every human being on the planet, you are humanity, on this level and deeper. Respond to what you FIRST are and you will see what you first are outshine what your mind tells you is happening. Be interested in that, because your mind wants you to focus on changing others and not seeing You and knowing yourself. Then it gives you a right to be unhappy and you need something to be unhappy. And when you are not happy someone else is causing it. It is not the truth.

I have a sign here - its rather like what is written on packets of cigarettes these days: “Smoking is bad for your health”. This sign says: "Realising will deconstruct your sense of self" and you will be knowing yourself. No one is to blame. Blame is a very deep embodied idea on this level and yet through all this Awareness is unveiling its light to itself, it just looks like it's not. The war you are having ‘in there’ and the war you might have with a partner, in your family, at work…it's the same war as the wars you see in the world. It just seems to be on a bigger scale. It is the same thing, the same movement. It is difficult to hear this.

The pain that one may have is not ‘someone's’ pain. There is no personal pain. It is how this level is actually the movement of the Beyond unveiling itself. It seems to be a personal body, a personal nervous system, a personal mind and a personal attitude. That is veiled reality. Not easy to listen to. One must enter it all consciously aware. You must. Nothing is happening to you. You must enter it, otherwise you are still seeking, veiling. It is a veiled reality.

What you are looking for is What You Are and it is in everything. The moment you stop, there is the opening to ‘What Is’. That is the return of what you called karma, patterning.  It is returning to no one. You are now available because of the ripeness and the opening to being no one. Then patterns return to the ‘I’ they come from. They return. The deeper you go, the more unveiling there is, the more patterns deconstruct within your awareness of Being and your experience of a sense of self. The mind is telling you something is happening to you. Real medicine is not discovering ways for people to be comfortable but for the people to realise what they ARE. That is real medicine. The flowers are real medicine, the sky, the ocean, air, sound, birds, music, however that is. Real medicine is being in Presence where everything comes alive or it is all alive unveiled. 

The Person

The person is the outer mouthpiece, the vocal cord of what is happening in the self, what is opening in the heart, what is deeper than all of this. Really ‘this’ is all made of it, it is not hidden, it is all within this but it comes and it speaks and it appears to be ‘someone’ and it is having a conversation with itself right now.


Day 5

“Thinking will only take you so far Awareness, then it will collapse, back into the One who Is.”

With A Little Observation and Softness

In looking, in seeing, in knowing, in observing - and I'm not proposing an observer - there is unveiling. Simple, simple unveiling. Forms unveil Reality, for forms are made of Reality, the light of Awareness. They unveil, they flower. Our attention, the attention of Awareness, that seems to be a you and an I, an I and a we.

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Our attention mostly stays with a believed observer as somebody, looking at a form that seems to be solid. Our movement on the surface then begins to be wrapped around the identification with a seeming person having a seeming self and a seeming form that is solid. Then we look at someone as if we are someone. We look at a thing as if it is a thing. Our attention stays on the surface. The objective form of an observer who is totally subjective as another form, but believes it is ‘somebody’.

So, attention stays completely on the surface. But with a little observation, or ‘softness and when I say ‘observer’ or ‘softness’ I'm actually pointing to the same, one can just sit quietly and you can soften and see, soften and observe, soften and know. It all points to the same no-thing-ness thing - Awareness knowing aware. See in a flash how mind creates Awareness as a ‘somebody’, and Knowing as a ‘thing’. A thing of a somebody, a me, and an object. It does it in a flash. That flash is taking place within this spacious Awareness, who knows and sees and is not observing.

Just IS. Knowing, seeing, aware.  

But the mechanism of the body-mind puts it all together as a construct, of ‘someone’ knowing and seeing. 

 So a simple soft observation then : I sit at the back of the room this morning. I just sit. Not doing anything, things are happening. There is Seeing and Knowing. You will watch the same if you just go outside or in a city, or in your living room, anywhere really if you look and your attention is not just sitting on the surface.  Then, the people come into the room.

This is my observation as they come in. What do they do? They begin to see each other, and meet and as they see each other and meet, they begin to greet, speak and ‘do’. And within that they begin to talk, and, a lot of energy is spent. They must spend it, it has to be spent and as they spend the energy, the field of apparent noise, gets louder and louder, and the energy of what is being spent builds. It just gets spent and spent and then it comes to a crescendo and then all the noise and chatter simply collapses.

The energy is spent and collapses into this indescribable spacious nothing. The believed bodies soften and soften, no longer are the bodies a drone of a person but the bodies are a lovely expression of this unspeakable wonder and beauty. The bodies, rather than being a drone, of a society, of a culture, of a religion, of a somebody, of a family, of humans, the bodies are this melting tender gentleness, that actually every drone longs for. Then there is this wonderful display of the artfulness of Love, as the bodies just turn into this softness of Life Aware. It is quite a dance. 

Mostly our attention just sits on the surface.  We are dying to collapse, and we will collapse when we die. But then we find we don't die as Awareness. The forms of our obsession, do. But don't they collapse when one goes into deep dreamless sleep? Don't they collapse, when our attention as Awareness is into where all this comes from, other than just on the surface, supporting the mirage, the obsession, the neurosis that we're all separate, and we are all someones?

So this energy gets spent, and it gets spent in many way. Maybe it gets spent in war. Maybe it gets spent in illness, maybe it get gets spent in cancer. It get spent in many ways, which is all the struggle of knowing there is more than just this neurosis of believing I am someone on the surface, this drone of appearance.

This morning’s observation was quite wonderful. You can just be still, and you will see how this is taking place, and where it all returns to. Regardless of what took place, all this returns to where it all comes from. With a little observation , a little knowing, you will see that your attention, Awareness, is simply held in the surface belief that you are someone. Held there. And you are just sharing, as it were, linear, rather than vertical. You are sharing thousands of years of experience of a self, of self experience. But behind it all, at all times, is the one who is listening to these words now. And all that spent energy of the belief that I am a particular someone, has continually collapsed, in apparent death of the apparent someone.

The Deepest Flowering 

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 Gently look at the ocean. Waves look to be all on their own. This is a different wave from that wave and that other wave over there. You think that is a wave but that's really a movement of energy. Do you think that is a wave? Go a little bit deeper.  It's a movement of energy.  Then go into the energy. Now you see the energy moving as a wave. Go deeper, and there is the wave moved by energy. Go deeper. Is there anything moving here? Go ever deeper into the ocean. It is so still.  Did you ever wake up in the morning like that? Have you seen that in the birth of the baby? Have you seen then how the baby settles back into the Deep as it hasn't identified with the wave yet? 

 We identify with all this movement but we are not aware that we are identifying with it, with this movement called 'my feet are moving', this movement that 'my hands are moving' , this movement that 'my head's moving'. We don't see through it.  We just stay with it as if it is IT.  We have not really opened, observed and actually seen that this (body-mind- manifestation)  is a flower. It is a flower and it is in a garden. The garden is in no-thing whatsoever and yet it is expressed. But then it returns. 

On the surface, patterns of identification - Awareness holding the belief it caused an action or it is doing an action. Our attention stays in the surface and we believe all those thoughts and feelings are us, are 'what we are'.  But they are the leftovers!

Maybe even war is the leftover of the thoughts and feelings that everybody thinks are other peoples thoughts and feelings.  Or we think that's 'my thought and my feeling', maybe this is what war is. 

The struggle with ourselves and not that openness to what we are amongst the struggle. In  openness, patterns would simply collapse, just like a wave, because they are no longer identified with.  There is  simply no energy so it collapses back into the Deep, and the Deep is listening now, appearing to be people.

And whilst the Deep has form, which appears to be you and I, it flowers. 

And the deepest flowering is through the face.  It is our real face.  This is the face of the Deep.  This is the body of the Deep. Not a drone. This is sweetness.This is  abundance and it's 'What Is'. And it is nowhere else but here, regardless of thoughts or feelings.

 

"There is no ocean out there. The Ocean is Absence. There is no sky, the sky is absence. There is no carpet, the carpet is absence. There is no person, the person is absence. There is no man, no woman, there is only absence. That moment of joy is absence " 

Pure Absence

In going so deep we discover that this is Pure Absence which is Moving Presence. Fulfilment without a thing. 

When you lift something up you might discover there is nobody doing that. And within the 'nobody doing that' you cannot 'make it happen', you can just keep seeing, noticing. In the seeing and noticing there will be the sensation of undoing. It may be thoughts, feelings or sensations that the mind translates as a problem, as difficult or as 'this shouldn't be happening'.

Then there is apparently somebody owning action, apparently somebody owning knowing, seeing, doing. 

See if you ever find that one. 

You will need to think for this but thinking will only take you so far Awareness, then it will collapse, back into the One who Is. You discover it is that One who is listening. This is the only constant that is. There is no someone doing anything. 

Have a look, please..." Could you pass me the salt?" " Could you lift that chair?" " Would you collect something for me?" How fast has that turned into 'someone doing something'? Into whether I can do it, whether I will do it, whether I will like doing it, whether I won't like doing it. All that is surface attention only.  But YOU long to be nobody -  Total Presence.

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What Is The Finger Without The Use Of Mind?

I invite you to know your hand. What is the finger without the use of the mind? 
What is the palm? What is the arm, what is the leg? What is the face? 
Enter!  Even though there may be resistance, which is always of the self or the mind, not of what you first deeply are, enter! And as Awareness enters, the body becomes spacious and open. There is more joy, sincerity. Then when you wave at someone, it is not just a shallow wave, it is an entrance into the Deep where the meeting truly is, that fills up the body, fills up the relating, fills up the heart, fills up the room, fills up this humanness. It is the shining of what One Is, what you have always longed for. It has never ever been separate.

The Body -  A Code Of The Deep - A Mudra Of The Present 

Rather than look at the movement, know it. When this hand is not identified with, it is so much more than somebody's hand. It doesn't have any shape. Even the sensation of a shape collapses. There is just this spacious openness. 

Now if you move that hand, you will see that mind says "my hand is moving". It is making the hand a position, belonging to someone that that hand is hanging on. Yes? 

 Isn't the body, even its shape, a code of the Deep, a flowering of the Deep? 

Whilst Awareness keeps its attention in thoughts and feeling and sensation, in time and space, as if time and space circles around its body-mind identity,  aren't we simply like a drone or a robot, running from one time to another, running from one experience to the next, trying to get what we believe we need to be what we are? 

Just a little of that attention dropping into what appears to be within and there is a softening, a warming, an opening, a dissolving. Instead of attention having a centre, attention falls away and there is opened Knowing Aware. Up on the surface it's translated as one's body, one's hand, one's feet, one's head, one's eyes, one's nose, one's life, one's friends.  The ocean. It is short of nothing and full of wonder! 

It is like your nervous system is a pathway, your mind is a pathway, your blood vessels are pathways, your toes are pathways, your fingers are pathways, your eyes are pathways.
Everything is pathways in this body! 

You will see that all those pathways are full of old ways. One is not living what one is, but  living some idea of a collective life over thousands of years, a collection of ideas of what we should do, how we should think, how we should operate, how we should function.  That is neurosis. That is actually our struggle and our pain, the pain in the body, the mind, the head, the pain in the neck -  the pain in relating?  It is that we are constantly giving our attention to the old pathway. It is like . groove in the subtleties of what is a body.

When we just put our attention somewhere else, other than just on the surface, to the heart for instance, or into what the form of the fingers are, the form of what the toe is, the form of what the chest is. 

When we begin to bring our attention there, we enter more than a form. We enter what form is made of and what it is the outer expression of, which is of the One who is listening to these words now. Veils fall away, old paths collapse, and new openings, new pathways open in the body and the bodies seem to be the shape of a deepening, encoded entirely differently. A Mudra of the Present, where what is coursing through it and pouring from it is a way of Being. It is full of delight and it has no objective experience. 

Divinely Inspired Human

Who is there in truth, who can say: “That was my mother’s stuff, that was my father’s stuff, that was my ancestry”?  There can be a recognition that patterns are passed down from father to son, from mother to daughter, from one nation to another but it is far deeper than that. Go a little deeper and a new place, a place-less place opens. Bring your attention there.  

When the mind tells you you are looking at someone you know, it brings up the past to make that person known, but that is You knowing You, or your need to know another in the past. That is the constant battle.

Bigger than that, deeper than that! Self then becomes the possibility of Awareness awakening to what IT deeply IS. It is seen to be a no-self-Self. Nobody is actually there as a collection of ideas, patterned by personalisation of experience, as a somebody, as a family, as a religion, as a nation. Even as human. Then we are this 'human', not a human but  humanity divinely inspired. Divinely inspired means Awareness is knowing more than the tension held in the surface beliefs. Attention is dropped below the known into the simple aware Knowing knowing Knowing. Inspiration pours from the unknown. Inspiration being in the outpouring of Being that never becomes anything or anyone. That is all simply an appearance that manifests of That, that is beyond appearance. That is the wonder of this life. 

That is where you really know you love. There is no need to search for it, no need to get it. You begin to realise those are all old pathways of the neurosis of believing I am a particular human. Then you see the wonder of this, you will laugh more, you will cry more, you will wonder more, you will undo more, and it is all great. 

Greatly terrible, greatly wonderful. There's greatness in each and every one of us, Here, expressing what It Is.


Day 6 - Excursion To Mili Gorge  

“When you don’t name, everything is full. It’s all fullness.”  

“Vagueness is Awareness veiling its entrance to the Deep, because it has preference on the surface that it wants to keep this idea I’m someone. Its a very good game!”

"In Awareness there is ONLY possibility...that the impossible is made possible." 

"When Awareness becomes one with Knowing, the deeper levels of the brain can open “

"Even in not knowing... you know.”

"In this cognitive shift there is no need to know how I know. Knowing opens in one’s awareness".

"Real forms reflect to you the reality one really is, all made of What You Are.”

"When one gives up one’s perceived life, it moves and flows naturally “ 


Day 7

“What is Presence is the Truth that ‘What I Am is nowhere else but Here.”

“The one who is listening is Home to the entire Cosmos and returns the
moment I begin to soften.”

“Can I respond to What Is, which essentially is What I Am, even though
the story is activating?”

“Only Awareness remains in deep dreamless sleep. There’s no
vulnerability in deep dreamless sleep. I know I slept well.”

“What if Awareness was taught to open to experience and not have a
future? Then isn’t there just unfolding and unveiling of What already
Is?”

"What you are cannot fail to turn up on your blackboard, in your classroom, in your life".

“Nothing Aware is the Blackness and from Nothing Aware in the
Blackness does the Light shine.”

“What is Presence is the Truth that ‘What I Am is nowhere else but Here.”. 


“Real forms reflect to you the reality one really is, all made of What You Are.”

“You are pointed back to your own pain that is covered. Pain is
obscuration of the Light of Knowing.”

“Emptiness is Love.”

“Contraction is Awareness’s move to hold on to familiarity.”

“At the root of it, fear is loss where nothing can be lost.”

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From Power to Pure Being Aware 

When we were very young, we had a fascination with things, not because they were things but there was a quality of joy in the knowing of Knowing. Your joy as a child wasn’t coming from naming things, it was not coming from you having a name. It was the joy of Being, for as a child self was not around as an objective sense of self. Everything was innocence, was streamed by Being. Things were not things; they did not have power.

When you were a child, you had a different kind of listening. There was no such thing as power. There was this fascination of life in innocence. You did not even know that you were innocent. Objects of experience did not have power because there was nothing arising that was not of the quality of your Beingness.

There might be touches of this knowing within your own body now, because it points to what embodiment is. Your body is a body of Being, a body of Awareness and through the genius instrument of the brain, Consciousness turns Being into sense perception.

In innocence, objects had no power. They were the streaming of Being. You just loved this life of being a child, the sensing child of the universe.

There was a little power in the emotion. You can see that in a very young child, but that is power of the instrument. There was no object that had power. Thoughts and feelings did not have power, your toys or your teddy bear did not have power. It was all the streaming of Being manifest. Everything was arising in Being, moved in Being. That is the Love you see and enjoy in a child.

The moment you were introduced into having power, you began to know the power of polarity, of like and dislike. You were knowing it in innocence but you saw its practice. You saw the practice of empowerment through duality. You saw it in the world, you saw it in what appears to be your mother and father but you did not recognise it. You were weaned off of being innocent and began to be taught the use of power. There is nothing wrong in this, we are just looking at how this is. You began to extract power from an object. Whereas before it was in Being, now it was ‘my’ teddy bear. That is power.

You began to believe that the power, the energy of what You are is in objects. All objects are actually animated with the power of Being present, but the moment that that power is taken for a sense of self, there is no Beingness in it. The power shifts, the awareness shifts from the power of being innocence, where there is no object, to having power for a sense of self.

Beingness is innocent. It does not do; it just is Pure Being. Pure Being literally animates the Cosmos and yet it is beyond it. It pours in and animates it.

So without knowing this, you extracted power from an object and you, Awareness, gave the power of that object, which once belonged to Being, to a sense of self. That is the first moment you knew power. You began to be in objective power and you built a centre of self out of objective power.

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Within The Form Reality Practice, you experience power and tremendous energy. That is the power of your Being. The energy of the body really is the energy of the universe and how it manifests. In the practice of The Form, the energy of the power no longer belongs to a self that is observing the universe but actually becomes the power of the universe, the universe and its Beingness. It is a trinity. That power is not used. There is no one there to use it and that is empowerment returned to Being. The sweetness of Being begins to flood Awareness and Awareness is fulfilled by the fragrance of its Being. Power no longer used in duality.

In the movement of The Form and indeed in daily life, when Awareness is awake to What Is and the movement of life as It Is, it discovers where power comes from and returns to. You as Awareness discover how power follows You where You give yourself to.

You have to see that power can also be veiled. It is veiled until it is unleashed on you. If you have a sore point in the body, that is power leaking. It begins to unveil, not only Being Aware but reveals also power following where Awareness is giving its sense of self to. We are taught this but not in an awake manner. We are taught to have power but then taught to give power to a particular society, a particular relationship, a particular culture, a particular candidate. We are taught to give our power away with the idea that that power will be returned, but it is all given to a sense of self. I call that sense of self ‘the world’ and it is not the earth. This is very subtle but it begins to grow in our knowing of What Is.

To be all in in the practice of The Form is to be all in the moment, all in the life, all in What Is. When you are all in, you begin to discover where power goes, where it flows, what it is given to. In giving to Being, sweetness flows and Awareness knows its own fulfilment. Being one with Being Aware is the fulfilment everyone seeks but we tend to seek this as and for the separate sense of self.

Within this practice, we say: “Go to where this goes to.” We are not talking about the person, but about a relationship of Awareness to Being and Knowing and not to a separate sense of self. Power given to Being is powerful in that it returns Awareness to What It deeply Is. It is the only fulfilment there is.

You must be all in it. Every movement is power returned to Pure Being Aware. The power that makes all this possible is the same power that expresses the universe, moves the universe, is the life of the universe and evolution of all the beings within it. It is the same power and it is actually the power of Love.  


Day 8

“You are Here; you are never not Here. Here is Eternity - the One who truly is.”

In Being, aware of deep dreamless sleep, the dream collapses plus the dreamer AND in Being, aware of deep dreamless sleep, the forms of Reality become brand new.”  

“All phenomenal forms arise and resolve in the Being-ness of Nothing Aware.”

“You see, the movement of the body is not just someone moving. The body is a transformative vehicle of Pure Consciousness.” 

“The experience of 'being someone' is essential to stabilise the Beingness of 'being no-one'. It is paradoxical but this what happens because this body-mind system needs the deeper support of experience ...at first.” 

“We are not just people, we are transformative vehicles of the universal human. This is a universal human and the evolution of what appears to be human is also the evolution of what appears to be the universe.” 

“The entrance of the Unknown is only in the death of the Known and in the death of the Known
the human is transfigured and remade in Being.”

Our Fear Of The Unseen and Deep Dreamless Sleep

Why do we fear or ignore the Unseen? Is it because there is more of the Unseen than of the Known and it is vast without beginning and end. Is this our fear. It has not become obvious to us, when we are so practiced in 'being somebody' that the Unseen is naturally arising in the Awareness that knows it is aware and aware of the forms of Reality. 

It is not so obvious to us because we are so sensitised to sense-perception alone. What I am pointing to most wouldn't even call sense-perception but fact or reality. Take a good look ....Is sense perception deception? Is sense perception deception or is it only deception if we are not perceptive to What we deeply Are? 

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Well then, is it okay to drop or let go of everything? Well, surely it is because we drop it every night we go to sleep, do we not? Don't we drop everything? Everything is left. Not one single object survives deep dreamless sleep. Not a single one. 

"How did you sleep? " 
"Oh, I have no memory of that but I KNOW I slept deeply. "
"What do you mean by that? " 
"Hmm there were no dreams, no images and no movement..I know I wasn't there as someone..but I am aware of the Deep."

If you truly looked into deep dreamless sleep, would that destabilise your dreamed life? Does the truth that everything disappears destabilise your dreamed life or do new forms of Reality arise as Awareness becomes aware of form?

Has it become fully clear to you that in deep dreamless sleep there is no dreamer?

In deep dreamless sleep everything disappears, the dreamed person, the dreamed culture, the dreamed religion, the dreamed partner, the dreamed everything. Yet we love it. What is the love of that dream-less place-less place?  It is the love of the truth that it is What one Is - already whole, already One? 

When this is utterly clear, there is an immense enjoyment, the pure enjoyment of ‘not having a self’.  In truth, ‘not having a self’ is our greatest joy. Then what self-concern can one have? 

The Moment Of Waking Up and Going To Sleep

The moment Awareness or 'Nothing Aware' becomes aware of form, the forms shape-shift all the way from the metaphysical and the biological up into this actuality. It brings finer lights of deeper reality up to this level that is currently labelled 'human'. Everything is shifted and changed by Awareness in its realising form. Awareness brings with it the Unseen that has an entirely different manner or Beingness and Awareness.

The moment of coming out of or going into to sleep, whenever that is in the morning or the night, is our best shot at being fully aware of ‘forming’ and aware of ‘forming dissolving’. It is a place or instance in which Awareness can discover the tipping out and the tipping into form. As you drop into sleep, forms dissolve into Awareness tipping in or spilling back into the unseen realms of its own Being. In waking up Awareness tips into the forming, which actually only arises within its own Awareness.

As you sit Here and Now, is it not true you are Nothing-Aware and this is the awake state? What You Are is Nothing Aware. It is very much the same as any instant morning or night - it is Here and Now. Morning and night in truth are an invention of the mind that believes in light and dark, seen and unseen. Nothing-Aware is the total availability of What Is right Now.

It IS possible, but only as Nothing-Aware, for deeper levels of the unseen reality to move ‘up to this level’ in response to Nothing-Aware aware of forming . But it must remain Awareness only and never become someone. 

That is Love knowing, moving, manifesting the Deep and it is The Now.

Nothing-Aware is The Abundance We Seek

Our pain and suffering as humans is simply  because we believe we are someone. Yet Nothing-Aware is the abundance we seek and fail to find as humans because we have to discover that we are Nothing Aware and in Nothing Aware forms arise. Phenomenal forms arise and resolve in the Being-ness of Nothing Aware. So transformation is integral within Nothing-Aware. It takes place through non-identification with forms of experience. 

The Body Is A Shape From Another Place

What configures this life? How does this life takes shape? How does this body take shape? Is this body within itself or is its shape from another place? Is this body not the shape a code of a deeper reality, not just the surface reality? Deeply look and see...

Is the body not the bringer of the body-less? Are the eyes not the seeing of the unseen? Is the breath not the breathing of emptiness? 

On Death
An excerpt from a profound conversation with a participant whose father had recently passed away

What death does, especially if it is very close and very intimate, death opens the Awareness to finer realms of Being. Finer realm of Being also is the hard disc of the download of let's call it your ancestry, the package of patterning that we all believe is 'us'. Often this opens when someone you have loved passes and definitely when your mother and father pass on. The ancestry that that Being-Aware did not transform within the movement of Life in a body is passed on to humanity. It is passed on through what appears to be someone's child. 

You see, the movement of the body is not just someone moving. The body is a transformative vehicle of Pure Consciousness. The body-mind cannot ‘do’ any of this. It all occurs through Awareness. Awareness downloads deeper levels of unseen reality in coming up to form. It is the intelligence that is evolving in the human level that believes that you are human and it must do, otherwise this could not form. The experience of 'being someone' is essential to stabilise the Beingness of 'being no-one'. It is paradoxical but this what happens because this body- mind system needs the deeper support of experience ...at first. 

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So then Awareness itself downloads up into the metaphysical and the biological, up into the formed level, where it is now coming from. Awareness is multidimensional - omnipresent .

When someone passes, the shock of that passing in a being such as yourself, the subtlety of what you are speaking of is becoming aware of openings entrances, points of entry and exit of deeper domains of Being. We are not just people, we are transformative vehicles of the universal human. This is a universal human and the evolution of what appears to be human is also the evolution of what appears to be the universe. 

When we think we are human we are using the mind of humanness that is an evolving vehicle through experience, but through Awareness awakening beyond the human a profounder light of intelligence begins to inform this vehicle of what truly is. The human then is transcended but included and the finer realms of Being fill up the human on every level. A human becomes divinely inspired. 

You are all divinely inspired but the 'holding' is not dying to the known. You won't let your objective sense pass on.It means you are not truly clear that the entrance of the unknown is only in the death of the known. And in the death of the known the human is transfigured and remade in Being. 

A simple movement of picking up a glass then is not just a movement, the seeing of another is not just the seeing of another, the whole movement of the body, from the toes to the nose, from mind to emotion, from energy to Consciousness, Awareness, from blood to bone, it is all a transformative vehicle of transcendence.  Ancestry then drops into what appears to be someone, but it is a Beingness-Aware and the movement of life is transforming the codes of reality from this reality and uploading a deeper realm of Being. 

Thats the New Life! All these doors begin to be very much known and open and to even have life there are doors that never close in one's body mind. You are not seeing the tremendous speed in which a door opens and you transcend this reality and immediately then include it. But you include it and then separate the deeper Knowing. You do believe you go to sleep, but you do not , you simply go into a deeper place of Awareness. 

It is quite natural for the passing of an apparent father or mother or friend to open this in you. It could be anyone for there are thousand of people dying right Now! Can't you feel the download, the entry and the exit ? So many door are wide open and we are blind to them.


Day 9

“Can we meet all of Life, meet this 'What Is' with no inner boundary? Is that possible? I say it IS.”

“It is always the right condition for the Unconditional to pour in and conditionally form Unconditional.”

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Boundless Real Life

Can we meet all of Life, meet this 'What Is' with no inner boundary? Is that possible? I am not asking ‘someone’ this question, I am asking ‘Awareness knowing it is aware’.

When we meet 'What Is' like this, as Awareness true to the Knowing within the heart, boundaries just drop away. Not through a ‘doing’ but through recognition, through openness.

Boundaries inside and outside drop away, even the boundary of the body, is no longer a boundary. Maybe the boundary of ‘culture’ disappears. Nationality may disappear quite naturally.

You-Awareness, are passing through all the ports that are opened within you, for everywhere there are portholes into profound boundlessness. You discover that the capacity to share this life begins to be boundless. You become available for Real Life because as Awareness you are no longer distracted by the need of a personal boundary inside and out. On the outside that personal boundary aligned with openness within is perfectly fine.

An awakened life begins to pour. There is a returning ‘in’ and in Awareness returning in, there is a pouring ‘out’ of that return. Things change on every level of the self and the person. There is integration, there is a meeting in Being and the Being is the forming and there is ‘no-one’ here.

What Is A Hand?
an exploration…

What is a hand? I am asking Awareness, it is not ‘someone’ asking ‘someone’. It is an open question direct and immediate. Close our eyes and come to the knowing of ‘hand’.

See if you can find a hand. Awareness, can you find a hand? Awareness, open your eyes. Mind says that is ‘a hand’. Close your eyes. What is it now? Is it an 'it'? What is your aware experience of ‘that’? You might still have a mental idea of ‘hand’ but with your eyes closed is this a hand or is this a flow of a band of multi-dimensional reality?

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Now open your eyes and look at your hand but move it very, very slowly. When the hand moves slowly, doesn’t Awareness disengage mind to know what ‘hand’ is? Have you ever seen a baby do this? I could sit for hours watching a little baby look at its hand because it doesn't name it. It sees an object, but there is no subject knowing an object called ‘hand’. There is just the knowing of this level of reality - figured, it has a form but within innocence awake in children, there is a figure of a form of That that has not been figured out. There is Pure Seeing and Pure Knowing.

 You are knowing what the mind says is hand but you are knowing more than the form of the hand. Your attention can be of this level of Awareness as forming and it can be of the Unseen. Is it the Unseen seeing this right now?  

Go back to the innocence of a child looking at the hand and you are able to be fully in Awareness, in unseen Reality. Is this then somebody's hand, or is it the movement of the Deep formed? It is forming Now, it doesn't have time or space in it. That is the uniqueness or the wonder of the brain that forms the Now in instant forms of Now. Real form. This form does not pass away because it only is Now.

When Awareness Sees The Knower of Reaction

Awareness has the ability to contain thoughts and feelings as an identity. Awareness can contain Reality in the sense of a person in its endeavour to keep the sensation of personalising the same. Up on this apparent human level then, the natural joy of Being is not known, not felt. The boundary on the surface is condensed experience, believed to support the knowing “I am ‘someone’, held together by a boundary within and by: “I must not let boundlessness or the unknown in. I must stay known. I must stay familiar.”

 It is all the mind. Awareness can see or register a reaction in the holding together of ‘being someone’, being a self, a person, through accumulated experience of ‘like and dislike’. There is the endeavour to keep all these likes and dislikes confined within this boundary. It is actually like being stifled to death. Limited. And somewhere all this is being registered as ‘me’.

So when we begin to open and awaken we may meet resistance. Resistance is always of the self and person. Resistance known by Awareness is perfectly okay. It is knowledge. Is it: “I have resistance”' or is it: “There is resistance.”?  Awareness lights up in its true awakening. “Oh look, there is resistance!” Now Awareness can see that the resistance is in the sense of self, person. When Awareness sees that there is reaction, Awareness will begin to see that there is a knowing of reaction, and the knowing is free of reaction. Immediately then, instead of Awareness identified with the reaction, it begins to turn towards the knowing of reaction. “How do I know there is reaction?” As Awareness returns to see the Knower of reaction there is no self to know any reaction. And in Awareness turned in the direction of ‘who this is that knows’, there is the natural pull towards the knowing of Knowing. Instead of focussing on reaction in a sense of self, it turns towards the light of Knowing - I call this The Calling. And as it turns to the Knowing, all there is, is the light of knowing Knowing - aware, freed of self.

 Awareness then quite naturally drops away the focus on the sense of self. It doesn't focus on the Knowing, it is consumed by Knowing, pulled by Knowing, called by Knowing for Knowing knows no one, knows no self, knows no person and knows no thing. It knows it knows. Pure light of Awareness knowing Knowing. Utter fullness.

Awareness begins to see that all reactions are only in the self and person. But there is actually no one reacting. And it discerns Knowing. It begins to discover that Knowing only knows the brightness of knowing Knowing-aware. Awareness begins to move into knowing the Knowing-aware. It fills out the Knowing and the Knowing fills out the Awareness. This is actually ‘What Is’.


Day 10

“The Heart is not a place but a door to Pure Openness.”

“Everything is placed in the Deep, even the entire cosmos is.”

“The one who's hearing these words now IS the Life that has no end. It doesn't stop in so called ‘incarnations’.
It is a river of an infinite ocean.”

“Regardless of the circumstances or the events in a particular space and time, the opportunity to realise is inherent.
It is the ground of 'What Is', no matter how it is.”

“Really, all this 'form’ is the presence of Awareness arising. It is know-able and it is substantial and it is real in that its ground is pure Knowing aware. Infinity pervades all.” 

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A Finite Movement Of Infinity

This surface level is a wave on the sea that doesn't change. There is this finite movement, which is an arising of an infinite sea. Somehow without doing anything Awareness, you and I, are able to know this moment of humanness and there is relatedness to what humanness is a wave of. In that moment we are seeing this finite moment that seems to pass away from that that does not pass away. Infinite in nature, unmoved by the movement of a wave. If this is becoming clear to you, the wave is moved by the unmovable, the infinite sea of Consciousness-aware. The wave belongs to the infinite although this wave called 'I' or 'me' or 'we' passes. It is infinite in nature but finite in form. There comes a point when we become disinterested in this finite wave we once called ‘me’. We might still come back into it here and there, but in a field of experience awakening to the ocean from which it arises. All experience now belongs to the deeper nature of the Consciousness aware in this moment. Then our awareness is rooted in the Deep. And the Deep is seen to move the wave called the cosmos, the universe, the earth, humanity or 'I' in humanness. But is Awareness realising it is unmovable Presence of knowing the Deep, not able to be deeply seated in deeper Knowing, whilst also knowing a wave moving?

No Need To Understand Knowing

What begins to take place is that there is no need to know, how I know. There is no need to understand Knowing. What is form? Why do we do this and why do we do that and how can we do this and how can we do that? When there is no need to know Knowing opens. Knowing opens in one’s awareness because it is the light of Awareness. Then there is the real living openness and possibility to see a form as the light of the Self. In fact that is Self-realisation. There will be no Seer, no Knower, just 'That'. The veil has disappeared. Then the apparent return to the perception of humanness is full of the realising of Being. It has happened to no-one but now a cell within the forming of humanness is moved somewhat differently and Awareness has access to more than the familiar. A very unusual Living Awareness.


Day 11

“Wherever Awareness goes to energy flows to and manifests the belief or the Knowing.”

“Attention given to a thought or a feeling, energises that thought and feeling and rebuilds it in a structure that gives it Reality.  Awareness giving attention makes it real, for Awareness is the light of Reality.”

“During the retreat you have been and are sharing in this unveiling of the truth of What You Are, and how where you give attention to becomes real for you, as it must, for you are Reality. Not the You, you call ‘me’, not the You, you call ‘I’, but the One who is deeply listening, registering ‘This’ that IS. “

“Wherever Awareness goes to, energy flows to and manifests the belief or the Knowing. “

“When Awareness discovers, 'I Am Now', 'Now' ceases to be just a word. 'Now' is pure openness, in which phenomenal forms of Awareness arise within the light of Awareness, which is self-radiating, only knowing Itself, only knowing Knowing.”

“What is infinite has become finite to know itself. There is actually no time in it.  That is an appearance. And in a singular moment the finite simply drops back into its own ocean. “

 

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Where Attention Is Given To

Attention given to a thought or a feeling, energises that thought and feeling and rebuilds it in a structure that gives it Reality. Awareness giving attention makes it real for Awareness is the light of Reality. Light expresses what Awareness can come aware into, this vast knowing Nothing. Nothing-Aware.

When Awareness identifies with a thought or a feeling, an image of a ‘someone’ with the image of events that seemed to have happened to this ‘someone’, the image seems to have Reality and tremendous power is given to that image. This is how even the universe is held together as an image, as an objective reality. It looks like it is ‘out there’ but the universe can never be defined by what the mind interprets it to be.

In the same way an image, a pattern of fear, is not what it seems to be but is enforced by the attention of Awareness within some idea or past event. Being aware as a ‘somebody’ makes that time, that space, that event real, energised.

In truth, all energy is forming this moment of 'I Am', creating real form of Awareness rested within its own light. Existence is seen to be whole, one with Knowing-Aware; not dual, not many, but a singular movement that arises out of Awareness, made of the light of the Self. Pure Self, pure Being knowing.

 

Someone

‘Someone’ is built out of past images. Not just in this single stream of the life you seem to have since you were apparently born and that will apparently die, but it is this conditional realm of Reality. A finite wave, an appearance in an infinite ocean.

Our attention then can drop as a wave while the wave has movement of forming. But our attention, our Awareness is knowing the wave but not from knowledge of existence in terms of linear time and experience but our attention is given to Pure Knowing, the immediacy of Being One with Knowing. Awareness one with Knowing is whole. Not passing away, not the wave passing.

The wave passing is the forming of reality up on this level of existence. The forms change but the energy, power and the Consciousness that the forms are made of is constant. Find out what that constant is. Is it ‘not I' who am listening to these words now? Does that ‘I' not point even beyond being 'I'.

There is a calling in this, the Calling of truth. In existence, the power that moves towards that truth, or that power is manifesting the cosmos as it is. The Calling is the pure light of consciousness. One knows or experiences this as a pull to know more than a separate sense of self, to know more than familiar experience. And the energy that actually belongs to that calling, that is in this instant manifesting the cosmos. A movement of energy shaping this reality from Pure Being.

  

When Awareness Discovers, 'I Am Now',

Humans have this belief that they are not ‘doing’ or energising what they are doing and experiencing, but they are Awareness. Wherever Awareness goes to, energy flows to and manifests the belief or the Knowing.  The cosmos as a totality remains whole in that it is a perfect reflection, in this only singular moment, of What truly Is. Within it the dance of energy dances to the tune of Awareness, not led by the power of Pure Knowing, but led by thoughts and feelings in the belief ‘I existed in the past’. When Awareness discovers, 'I Am Now', 'Now' ceases to be just a word. 'Now' is pure openness, in which phenomenal forms of Awareness arise within the light of Awareness, which is self-radiating, only knowing Itself, only knowing Knowing.


Day 12 

“We have enjoyed being Here together, in its serenity and in its wildness and within the complete vulnerability of this Self-encounter. “

“Everything that you look at is full of the power of the Presence of Awareness forming.”

“In a human life we are returned to the pain of our ‘self’ imagination. It is the releasing of the image of being a particular ‘someone’ with likes and dislikes. Eventually the knowledge of What one is and where one's 'I 'is pointing to and the ability to discern this moment awakens.”

“Is this awakening in linear time of is it a vertical reality  that then has appearance in the horizontal plane?”

“Can you stand alone? And be non-relative whilst you relate to all relationships? Can you stand out without needing to stand out, stand up, stand free in the field of human relatedness as it is at  in whatever stage of evolution it is at ? Can you stand free in that? is that not what you are called for? Realising deeper? Standing free, not away from anyone, but within it all ?”

“What is it to be ‘new'? What really is ‘the new’? Is it form or Awareness? Is it a change of form? Does that make you new or is it a change of 'you' in You as Awareness?

“I Am Here Now and that Here Now appears as times and space. But time and space are an appearance in the Here and Now. It is Love knowing moving manifesting the Deep, without a trace of 'doing'.”

“All that you see has power of You in it. Not you as someone sitting on the chair. All this is a movement of light and energy manifesting the One. Cells of the one are awakening to what it is and returning.”

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Wave Upon Wave

It is a strange thing this last morning of the retreat. A strange thing this encounter with a wildly serene Reality. Wildly serene, meaning that the ground of Reality is serenity. 

Like the calmness of a deep ocean. Even the ocean has no idea how waves keep moving to its surface. These waves of Reality called the cosmos, called the universe, called Beingness, called humanity - wildly serene, because at any moment a familiar wave could move again. A familiar wave…”Ah there is that familiar wave!” That familiar wave of thought or of feeling, that familiar wave of a relatedness to the Deep in its serenity and to its wave and its wildness. This is the constant encounter. 

The light of Reality which is That that is only ever Here, only ever Now, only ever present. This endless Here and Now – infinite moment and its wave as if it moves in time, and its wave that moves as if it was yesterday and heading towards a future. This wave that in one moment contains the serene and in  the next moment the wildness of situations - mental emotional within oneself or apparent other selves.

Suddenly the encounter with serene Reality is wild, sometimes wonderfully wild, sometimes uncomfortably wild in the sense of self, as Reality encounters Itself in the formed levels in all its conditionality of like and dislike, of polarity. But whichever way it seems, in truth this encounter with Reality is serene, the ground of it all is serene. So, so much is here! Human life is always in this wildness and one never knows what one will come upon. 

The First Relating

The first relating in Awakened-ness is in the Deep, in the Unfamiliar. Then that relating, whilst one has a form, moves up into the forming. Within this, there is a response-ability to this Knowing that is different than the images up on this conditional level of apparent humanness. Otherwise those conditions will grab us and contort our perception of ‘What Is’. Because they must. If Awareness belongs to the patterning then it must distort and contort our perception in our relatedness. This is the encounter of Reality as Awareness. It is serene. It is the openness we experience when we truly surrender or drop in.  The Calling is to be true to this, within what appears to be this individual.

A Bit-con Expert
B reads someone's  t-shirt :”Bitcoin expert....”

 Bit-con expert…that fits! It is the bits that con us! Images con us to believe in the image and the power of the image. It has to, because the power of that is producing flowers. It IS a shining of Reality appearing as manifestation. It is in bits: flower, person, chair, sky, cosmos ….but it is ALL within a bright Wholeness that is the ground of All That Is.

Back To The Blackboard

There is inherent freedom within every apparent image, no matter what. The seer and the knower is the One who sees and knows. When we look at an apparent object, the seeing of that object is the seeing of the Knowing of the Seeing, the light of Awareness prior to an object, which is an appearance of the Seeing and Knowing. That Seeing and Knowing is in our sensation. The hand is actually the Seeing and Knowing as a hand, the foot is the Seeing and Knowing as a foot, as a walk. The body is a walking Seeing and Knowing of the one who sees and knows. Never does it objectify or object... And this Seeing and Knowing arises in bright-full Awareness, which returns to Seeing and Knowing even beyond the sense of 'I' - back to the blackboard. 

 We used to say this when I was in art school: Let's get back to the black board!”  “Let's get back to the blackboard.” Like we do every night when we go to sleep. Like right now this appearance of 'somebodiness' is arising in Awareness, the Reality that shines without beginning or end. 

Then even the sensation in our body takes our Awareness from just being aware of sensation, you discover you are not 'a shape'. Your hand is not a shape, your foot is not a shape, your head is not a shape, your body is not a shape.

One can literally follow the sensation into the depth beyond sensation, directly into the Knowing aware - Nothing- Aware. In that moment the game is over and there is the calm of the ocean, the serene encounter with ‘What Is’ - Reality.

And no-one is encountering it! Then as Awareness is washed up into the surface of this level of its brightness, there is encounter with the wildness of this level of reality, conditional experience within the sense of form. Yet the perception may have changed. The perspective of life may have broadened. It is not that there is choice there, but there is movement from that deeper perception and wider perspective. If this is not clearly seen then one must live the lesser spectrum of one's consciousness and remain, knowingly or not, entangled with more formal concepts of human life. Struggling with the encounter of Reality as itself, unwilling to drop the ideas within the mind, within the movement of the emotional body dancing to the tune of the mind.  

One is constantly returned to one's pain. Pain simply being, at least in those that are awakening, the confusion of knowing deeper reality and yet remaining with the reactions of a sense of self and person. So you return to your pain. Within that is the heightened vulnerability of a sense of self in the world as it is, as it struggles in the mirage of thinking and feeling others are the cause of one's pain. Awareness can awaken through all this, untangle its self from identification with thought and feeling .Uncomfortable though it may be in the vulnerability of the sense of self that is now no longer held together in a satisfactory experience of comfort. Nonetheless Awareness is awakened to respond one with the depth of its Knowing, not mixing that Knowing in the old manner with patterned thoughts and feelings. 

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Is that courage, is that Love or is that just wisdom? Does it have us on our wonderful knees of openness? Does that not have Awareness finally entering its perceived weaknesses, when true power returned to Being lies under that apparent weakness? Does this seeming sense of self expand in its directness of perception and Knowing-Aware? Are we not enable to not just 'carry on' but enabled to allow what once was identified with to pass through?

 Awareness may experience the undoing of its form as vibration, energy, thoughts, feeling colliding. Mind identified with naming, labelling turns to dust. Have you ever seen dust in a stream of light? When sunlight pierces through a window or a crack and how dust is dancing like golden silver-ness? Have you ever truly surrendered to a deep Knowing and that is what you experience? And that widens within the perception of the Knowing of the embodiment of Now. Labels are gone and all is Good and it does not have a label on it. Everything is perfectly ok even though the forms have just turned to dust, shining in the light of opened Awareness? 

 Is there anything that holds us prisoners but our lack of being one with our Knowing? Your heart may beat and race and adrenaline may pump though your body in facing the imprint of a sense of self-need and self-want. If you are not against that because now you are knowing what that movement is, you are not returned to your pain but to the profundity of the light of Reality itself. Is this not the One who is Here-Now and never was anywhere else?

 Is this awakening in linear time of is it a vertical reality that then has appearance in the horizontal plane? Do we speak to each other to have confirmation we are limited ?  Do we speak to each other to get what we want and to hold together a lie? Do we relate to continue the obsession with a conditional human experience, that we are needy and that we are lost or we have lost? Or do we speak to each other to 'find', not seek but to find that we have already been found ?  for it is the ground of What Is and it is the one who is listening to these words.

So yes, the Deep is tough in a reality that is held together through belief, but the Deep is gentled when Awareness returns this level of experience to a little bit deeper than the familiar. Is this not going to happen at the apparent moment of death? Where nothing can be held onto? What is it that like then to die Now, with not one sensation, one thought, one feeling, not one person, one experience can be held onto? Is that not death? What actually dies? Is it 'I' or my illusions and delusions? Is it not more difficult to hold on to energy that is naturally changing and moving, to mind that is changing and moving? Isn't it more difficult to hold on to all these images than to actually let them go? Is that not also what takes place when one drops into apparent sleep? Isn't this then all there really is to see and know?

Can You Stand Alone?

Here in this field there is more available for the trans-formation, the 'Beyond-formation' - the formation of the Beyond in the present moment of this level of humanness. Is there anyone doing it other than being the aware Knowing? This is the wonderful capacity within two or more who are gathered in the name of what is deeper than an ordinary limited sense of self. But even amongst this field? Can you stand alone? And be non-relative whilst you relate to all relationships? Can you stand out without needing to stand out, stand up, stand free in the field of human relatedness as it is at  in whatever stage of evolution it is at ? Can you stand free in that? is that not what you are called for? Realising deeper? Standing free, not away from anyone, but within it all ?   

 

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The Form Reality Practice

When we come to look at The Form Reality Practice, and we look at the practice in terms of the daily life in the manner of which within the practice, we are open and we are awake, we begin to know the streaming. We begin to know the sensation of It, the energy of It, the Light of It and then going upstream, the depths of It.

The knowing isn't 'someone'. You've gone from relative association with experience up on the surface body as a person trying to do something, trying to get something in a mental, emotional, physical self. You've gone into the metaphysical - the physics of this, just as you do in deep dreamless sleep but most of us aren't awake to go through - that's what dream is including nightmare.

As you come through, you come through all of this, You as Awareness and 'this' is made of this. Awareness moves, it manifests in this Now. This level of intelligence makes you believe that this form has past but what it has is Presence. It's made of Presence.

Within The Form you'll discover that you come deeper, away from the relative into the directness of Being Aware. You come upon the energies and the consciousness, the depths of the non relative even into Non Being."   

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