A day by day collection of powerful pieces, pointers and truth from the 2017 Crete Retreat sessions.
"You are freedom itself. To be free you need to be letting go of what defines you on the surface. Everything on the surface needs to be set free, so the un-definable You can move through what you used to think you were."
"All the pressures you see in the world, all the pressures you feel in this life is your endeavour to unmix reality on this timeline of belief that you are a body-mind and you have had a past."
"Where there is apparent discomfort and struggle do not fix it. Open to it. You will find where your struggle is is what is being made new."
"Understanding the world is how you understand yourself."
Finding The Unpatterned Way
Discover the presence that you are. Amongst that presence, the beingness of presence, you may begin to discover that you are entering the body-mind right now. In our current societies, our cultures, friends and families, we are constantly informed of a pattern rather than finding the way. There is no problem with that. It is all mirrors. Many difficulties occur as we find the unpatterned way, as we discover not to identify with the felt pattern along with its thought.
Levels of patterning that have been identified with by Awareness, that is 'you and I', are constantly throwing up stories and information. We are in a massive informational field but that informational field is a tiny dot in what one is. This is not a concept; it is Love.
Find the way of softening and opening. In the deepening of that openness, as Awareness appearing to be a person, you are dropping into the unformed levels of your wholeness because in the deep you are complete. You are dropping into deeper levels of wholeness that are unlike like anything you would relate to on the surface through thoughts and feelings and movement of mental, emotional, psychological and physical experience. It is not made of matter, although matter is made of You, Awareness. It is not made of the elements, although the elements are made of You, Awareness.
Awareness, you are finding your way, not home in the distance, but home in the Now, home in this moment of presence, unpatterned, unfamiliar, untouched.
The unseen You is the pressure you feel on your familiar known patterned way. For the deep, unpatterned, unfamiliar that is already complete, does not mix with the familiar. It doesn't mix. The mixing only happens because of the power and ability of Awareness to mix the surface levels, rather like a paint palette.
As Awareness comes up into sense of self and person, this biological micro-computer moves as soon as you press the command button and on the screen, forms of unpatterned Awareness arise mixed with the conditional level of patterns, identified with since apparent birth.
This is our ability on the surface of the body-mind, to mix what we have experienced in a linear manner of past with what we are awakening to that has no past. Awareness can mix this on the surface. It basically gets mixed up and it gives itself permission to be mixed up. As Awareness awakens to what it is, it unmixes this level of reality by staying true to the heart of Knowing. That is why life gets so terribly difficult when you are awakening.
All the pressures you see in the world, all the pressures you feel in this life is your endeavour to unmix reality on this timeline of belief that you are a body-mind and you have had a past. Whether we know it or not, we are already complete endeavouring to give expression to our completeness, not through familiarity or the belief that we are a body-mind. If there is a learning then maybe it is the learning to forgive ourselves for getting so mixed up and reveal the heart to the heart. However your life is right now is the place of discovery.
Moving Deeper Than The Patterned Sense Of Self
It takes a tremendous amount of energy to stay present in a human body as Pure Awareness or innocence. But you did it when you were very young because you had not as yet identified as a body-mind form. The truth is we don’t exist. Only ‘I’ exists, ‘I’ the one listening to these words now.
Awareness moves, ‘I’ takes place, in other words there is Knowing. Knowing moves its radiance and the elements make form of that.
When you move deeper than the patterned sense of self, you empty the patterned sense of self. When you move a little bit deeper, what you have been knowing on the surface vibrates. That vibration, when you are open, is the replacement of the forming you are familiar with. It is the deep moving to meet you coming in, a union point of the same one meeting itself. It can be challenging to your sense of self, or another’s sense of self because you are rebuilding your sense of self to match what you are awakening to.
There Is No Need Of Security In Reality
Faith is knowing you know deeper than any experience you have in the body-mind. It is Knowing. It is not objective. As you move into the knowing, you read beyond sense-perception. All difficulty, pain and distraction is in your incomplete self, not in You. You are deeper than the body-mind. You got used to believing you are a ‘someone’. As you drop your name, drop the familiar, levels in the body-mind that you patterned as false security, you will begin to feel them dismantle by you realising deeper. There is no need of security anywhere in reality, which is in You. To realise that and live that is the living of You in the body-mind. You are rebuilding the body-mind as a being.
The First Fear
If you leave your self alone, you will come into your first fear - being alone. If you continue to leave your self alone, you come into the freedom of ‘being aloneness’. Then on the surface, you will realise all-oneness. It keeps on unfolding and growing in this way. The deeper you go, the more will take place on the surface because now you are moving from a speed of what is incomprehensible to what you believed you were. You will discover you instantly know. You realise the genius of life one is but there is no one there knowing it. It is just Knowing that is knowing.”
Cease Struggling With Love
If you struggle with conceptual love, you will feel the struggle of all your forms endeavoring to relate to your heart as love. Take out the concept of love, see that you are the movement of all forms as love and you will cease struggling. The struggle is You separating You into parts when You are the whole.
"Pressure on the surface life points to transformation of a level of Form moved by the connection with the unseen you."
"Be open. Be so open that both negative and positive disappear. That is the flowering of Love."
"Recognise core beliefs are being faced or opened and the process of allowing the dark to pass through your awareness is essential for the manifestation of your pure lights of Being into form. Don't turn back from it. Pass through the 'I' of experience."
"Awakening is the ability to know apparent duality whilst in the same instant knowing infinite Knowing, whilst knowing in a finite form that passes away."
"The infinite does not pass away. The very substance of what passes away is infinite so how can it pass away?"
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, you are loving you, that’s all."
Passing Through the Dark as the Light of Awareness
Within the retreat, Awareness discovers its own bright Reality demonstrating the illusion that we are separate and our core beliefs are sustained by our belonging to the world and not to what we deeply are. Often within the first few minutes, hours or days, these levels come up pretty fast. What we do is we use our established coping mechanisms to cope with what is coming up. When there are patterns moving, you head to consult your sense of self as if it is your agony aunt. You go and sit at the feet of ignorance, you sit at the feet of arrogance, you sit at the feet of that that cannot know what you are yet it is made of what you are, a paradox.
So when you are passing through what we call ‘darkness’ - core beliefs arising in your awareness, they will be appearing through what you call ‘my life’. They appear through your patterned thoughts and feelings. You often consult your feelings. This is not the way. The way is the one who is listening now, listening to what ‘I’ is. That is the way. It is actually the only way.
Passing through the darkness shows you have not integrated your Being so much. You have integrated your sense of self. You have integrated ‘What about me’ instead of Who I Am, Consciousness itself or What I Am, Awareness itself, which are arrows to the depths of Reality. What I Am or Who I Am is not consulted by your self but is direct and in the immediate Knowing. It is super fast, the highway of Reality and it wakes up and wakes down, wakes in and wakes out.
When these core beliefs begin to move, you are going to discover your attachment to how you think, how you feel and how you relate to the illusion that you are a someone. This is brilliant! It is the moment of pure release into profound but simple openness because all this is taking place in a vast spaciousness of what Awareness is, the one who is listening to these words now. It is a pin-prick. That is how small all this that is going on is. But it seems so big to your identification with the forms you use to tell you what you are, instead of knowing directly What I Am.
This is only living in you by you being this knowledge. If you are not being it in preference of thoughts or feeling, then the deeper realisation cannot move. It is moved by your relatedness to the deep and in relating to it you are waking up and also waking deeper down until there is no waking up or waking down.
We will look into that more as we move on, the realising of What I Am which then reveals in life Who I Am. Awareness - what. Consciousness - who. The what moves in the who. In moving in the who, the what discovers what it is, the who discovers where it comes from, and it is the same one realising it is total.
The body-mind is not an illusion. The illusion is the patterned core belief that Awareness has brought into the body-mind. That is the only illusion handed down from father to son, mother to daughter. It is like that. No one is to blame because your father is not your father and your mother is not your mother.
"To be completely open is to allow it all whilst belonging to something deeper."
"Don't move away from the challenges. They are an entrance into your glow."
"The Form Reality Practice integrates deep knowing and allows patterning to come home."
Fasting On The Light Of Love And Knowing
When you think you are a body-mind, to fast on the light of love and Knowing is quite difficult. Fasting is not ‘not eating’. Fasting is not eating from the tree of separate sensed self. That puts you in the tree of life because that is what you are inside and outside, rooted in the tree that is Thee.
Your First Body
If you only identified with what you know you to be within the heart, you will realise the entire universe is your first body formed. You become open to the mystery of the adventure of realising what I am, what truly is, and the disentanglement of identification with the form, which sets the form free to be what one is. The Form Reality Practice is simply that. It points to that in movement.
"If you just sat here without being self-centered, you would Self-Realise. If you can have a self centre and not be of it, that is freedom manifesting."
"Your only experience is: I am knowingly aware I am Awareness, that in which the universe forms and moves and dissolves in my return to the deep, to the source that I am."
"You only lose the grip when the idea that you can let go vanishes."
"To let go, to not hold on, to lose your grip is to come into the full open experience of what is."
"Can I come through? That is the question of life. I am already through. The question is are you through with needing more experience to tell you who you are?"
"Making experience ‘mine’ is the beginning of all difficulty."
The Moment Awareness Identifies With Experience
As a child, we were taught to identify with experience. Awareness, as it were, zoomed into experience and made it ‘mine’. When you were very young, there was just wide open experience - the whole of life being one singular movement, not in parts, not in bits, but the simple joy of wide open Being, moving in Being, moving in forms of Being.
The moment Awareness identifies with an experience it likes or dislikes, which is the conditional nature on this level until Awareness awakens to what it is, then Awareness in existence evolves its Knowing and develops its forms within its perception.
So the moment Awareness identifies with experience, it zooms into that experience, singles it out from the sun rising, from the moon rising, from the stars shining, from the waves moving, from the birds singing, from the owl in the night, from the breeze, from the wind, from the smell of the earth, from the movement of all life. It singles out the total experience of 'I am' and makes a single moment of experience 'mine'... Difficulty begins right there, suffering begins right there.
Day 5 - Excursion To The Cave of Zeus
"Your awakening is moving the stars, your possibility is right here right now in amongst this humanness."
The 'Prior To'...
The Cave represents the 'prior to' - the void. That is why people retreat to a cave, to come to the Real Self. There you discover the mind stops. You find there is no substance in the cave. It is pure and clear Awareness. This is where it all begins and all ends, in You.
When you come out of the cave you walk in the forms. All the stones you walk on are what you individuated and separated.You are passing through these stones for the transformation of form in your new bright Awareness.
"Let the knowledge of freedom mean more to you than the feeling of freedom."
"Be all that you are, totally open, not held back, all given! Life is an extraordinary Awareness coming to life."
"Meet the old forms from a simple touch of what is deeper. In that, there is a new power ready to flow."
"Knowing projected out is objective experience."
Unlistening To Stories
The speaker can only point and the listener can only listen. The speaker can point to where the pointing is coming from, which can increase. When the speaker lets go of the need to point as a someone, someone’s on the decrease and Awareness is on the increase, the Deepening. When the listener is listening because the listener can only listen, then the listening comes from the unlistening to the stories of a separate sense of self, the process of unlistening from the point of view of someone, and listening becomes pure. Then the one who is pointing and the one who is listening realise they are the same one. Both pointing and listening disappear and only Awareness remains, Pure Awareness, which is Love, remains.
When Awareness moves up into the level of form, the one who is pointing will endeavor to point from a place never pointed to before. That is his appointed function. The one who is listening will listen from what they have never heard before. That is their appointed function. There they find they are the same one discovering who this ‘I’ is, this ability to be conscious deeply, wholly and utterly. They are what this who arises in, the Awareness that makes all this possible.
The Functionality of Being
When we have a taste, a one taste, we taste how Being moves, how Being functions, what Being is, what Being does that makes everything whole. It does not divide. It moves in every level of a human life exactly as what it is. That raises a function of a level to a movement of Being. Pure Being let loose in the movement of a human life is nothing other than glorious. It is Love.
Awareness realises in its utter giving away the forms, that it has separated from its true Knowing, its Being. It sees how function happens quite naturally in the mobility of being true to heart Knowing.
Being does not use a thought. Being does not use a feeling. Being does not seek out a particular thought or feeling ‘to have’ as against another thought or feeling ‘not to have’, a particular person to meet, a particular person not to meet. It meets everything as its unchangeable Self, its unchangeable Beingness.
When Awareness begins to awaken to its heart, to belong to its Being, that allows the streaming of Being to have all the forms that Awareness has separated into - like and dislike, good and bad, right and wrong. That also allows Being to move into any energy centre and be completely in it and change it by just being in it. That centre then begins to vibrate at the frequency of Being, emptying out all the forms or energies of preference and opening up the deeper realms within the earth, the deeper realms within the unseen. They marry, which means they merge.
That merging is oneness moving, giving Awareness the ability to be completely moved by its own love, direct and immediate, mobile in its own love even amongst what it once used to identify with. Breaking open everywhere within its experience - breaking open in its mind, breaking open in its heart, breaking open in its feeling, breaking open in its relationships. Awareness becomes mobile and stabilised in the deeper truth it is belonging to, realigning the whole body-mind with the light of its own love.
In such a giveaway to its Being, Awareness is actually home amongst the debris of the separation it imposed on itself with apparent others and it is able to function from the deeper levels of realisation amongst the old functionality falling to pieces and not making a story of the old functionality falling to pieces. Somehow in this, love shines through which is the knowing of this love of one's Self, the Self, the Pure Being.
"Let go of moving as someone. Simply move as a Being - totally subjective to what the heart is. No objective. Discover how that relates to everyday movement. You are entering the alchemist."
The unseen can be termed to be new in your experience, as Awareness when you touch upon what is deeper than your personalised experience but you touch upon it, completely open to losing everything that you have experienced as you. You are now available to be filled up by the deeper touch of your own original being and your own original being finds you all open. It moves up into that openness and you remember what you are, its goodness and its purity. The newness is bright simply because you have surrendered everything. Every idea that you have ever had, every experience you have ever had, you have surrendered so completely open that they can be filled by your original nature. That is the movement of profound love, profound sweetness. Everywhere you turn with that pouring in inside, outside, is being filled by that love. Everywhere you turn will be filled by that love. You look at a neighbour, that love will fill up your love of that neighbour. That love will fill up the sky. That love will fill up the love of everything you could possibly ever know or look at. It will fill everything up. That is what you love.
You are able to move into the streaming of the love outpouring. You are able to move into the dimensions of other levels where this one love is pouring making everything one. You are able to flow upstream and come to a level unspeakably profound. You are so available in this life, so opened, no longer needing to register an experience before you do anything.
Now you have right of way in the stream to the ocean of love simply because you have given up all identification with experience. Now you can go up river into the higher streams. Whilst you have a body, it is formed right here right now in this form and the form is made new. The form sings the new, but you are still travelling, as it were, and realising what you are.
Never were you anything other than this but the one and only constant that is realising what it is and being it. That is the sweetness that you are touched by your original freedom. You are no longer your own. It becomes clear to you that you belong only to this.
To be where you are now coming from whilst having form means that the forms of experience will move because on this level you are the whole body, but also a cell within it. There will be an influence of the cell you are within the whole body you are.
An entirely new human is coming into being, a field that is not dependent on forms of experience but a field that is an outpouring of original love. In that moment, you stream that original love by coming from it. More and more doors open and the delight of your being is what you know you belong to.
"Let the brokenness happen and you will find sweetness. What you are cannot ever break and it shines through the brokenness."
"Cease navigating life with your usual forms of experience. Just put them to one side and move from the smallest tender moment within. Stay there and love will move. The inner doors of your heart will fly open. Only there lie all the solutions to life."
Awareness Disentangling From Its Forms
When Being moves because Awareness is belonging to it, it fills up all spaces you could possibly ever see and know. You look at something and it fills it up. You think something, it fills it up. You feel something, it fills it up. Wherever you look your being fills it up with what Love is - an extraordinary movement of Being.
You cannot make it happen. Mostly you have suffered for it. One Master said you have to suffer rightly, which means know what the pain is about. Clearly know what it is about. For some of this is conceptual, a movement of being that is profoundly real because Awareness objectifies everything, so then there is the subject and the object. But that is not the truth, that is the split that Awareness is doing in identification with the experience of objects. But there is no experience of objects, there is only objects arising as one form, like the universe. Objects arising as one form within pure knowing Awareness. Pure knowing Awareness is the totality of whole experience - not two, not separate.
The objects arise in what you are, they are made of what you are. They come with you, because they are you, formed. Then there is a movement of Being when, Awareness moves. It is no longer looking at an object. It is the movement of Awareness in Being that is the one and only constant, Love that is pouring.
That is a powerful moment because as Awareness untangles itself from objectifying an object, it no longer has any need to experience more objects to know its own true Love. This is Being. This is the true life, the one Goodness, filling up the space that was once taken up by identification in separate sensing. This cannot be done by a separate sense of self but Awareness seeing very clearly it is misidentifying with experience. The experience truly is - I Am knowingly aware . That is the sensation in the body, the deep sense that all is good, the deeper sense that everything is moving as it should, everything is calling as it does and I have this deeper calling to know more of what I Am.
Deeper Seeing and Knowing
Any pain is really pointing to an unseen level opening, to be filled up by your response to the unseen level. This is actually rebuilding the body, the mind, the person and the sense of self. There is a goldenness about this, when the purer energy that belongs to your Being arises. Your Being activates the purer energy that comes up, just by you as Awareness being aware of what is deeper. Then as you move in this life and you are open because you are not moving in a robotic fashion but in openness, that gives way for the deeper levels to emerge.
Begin to see as the light of love the possibility of deeper seeing and Knowing and what is really opening within. See how it does match a level of disentanglement to particular forms, mental, emotional wrapped in movement of the body-mind, humanness. When you let go of a level, you completely surrender because you see this is an old way and you look deeper and respond to the deeper level. This gives that level permission to come up and fill up the vacant space of that that you once moved in.
Discernment in Awakening
The 'I' of the knowing of Awareness is the brightness you really are. Discern ‘what you are' from the sensations separated from Knowing in the streaming of life, the streaming of the moment. You are the light that is streaming.
Discern between the forms Awareness is disentangling and the deeper level of Knowing. Bring that together by speaking directly of life as it is. As you look at life as it is, disentangle your aware Knowing from the attachment to particular experiences by aligning with the deeper unseen level of you that is awakening.
Dive Right In - The Form Reality Practice
The practice of The Form is the same as your everyday life but in your everyday life you don't always look to what is deeper than how you usually function. You are trained to keep things the same rather than introduce what you are moving from as a being in a new way. You won't know how that looks until you go there. Within The Form you can move in the form attached to what your mind thinks is a structure or you can move in the form formlessly, unidentified with the body-mind, its thoughts, its feelings and its concepts. You can dive right in.
"You have all had experience of awakening, that is unquestionable, but are you still questioning who you are? That is the question."
Undoing Your Old Ways
You are remaking your interior by not believing you have an exterior. So when you have pain, suffering that is your attachment to past experience. You do not suffer when you have released past experience in the light of knowing what you deeply know is true that you are awakening to. The pain will remain until it doesn't. It does work. There is work going on in that pain. Leave that pain alone. Don't put it onto others. Also don't believe it is you but do acknowledge there is pain. Within that pain then, there is an unconsciousness you are making conscious, a return of that energy to the bright energy of love meeting the bright energy of Knowing, reforming this level of reality.
Energy or pure sexuality will follow you wherever you go and form what you believe in.
Remain true to what you are awakening to and most definitely all the patterns of egoity will empty out. You will experience that energy moving in the body-mind in many different ways, undoing your old ways so that you may know your old ways more cleanly, more wholly. You forgive you for moving in such a way. Now you know clearly this is not the way of your Being.
Be true to the depths of your knowing. Be one with Knowing. That is being one with your Self, deep Knowing, not mental or emotional experiences, which are your familiar forms. Recognise your usual forms; they are like an old friend. Then you will know the unusual Awareness you are in now.
"Care for your self on such a deep level that it is not about any emotion, it is about Truth, the power of Truth, which is real Love."
"When you realise no one owes you anything, nor does the cosmos then you are going to become more naked, open and free, to discover directly this powerful and yet gentle love which is your true nature. You might not be used to such straightness, but here it is in the name of love."
Keep Yourself Unblinded
Q: I saw something today, something that I have created. It was revealed after a certain amount of contemplation. What I created was a puppet and it had the kind of characteristics of a voracious predator. When I looked, when I finally regained enough presence of mind to see what I had done and what this entity was, it was like a black hole. It was at the same time nothing as well as all devouring in terms of Awareness. My knowledge is that what this thing is has no reality. It is something that I have cultivated and fed consciously and unconsciously. Whatever feelings I have about it, I know that it is not me, it is something that I can either work to release or to just blindly accept.
B: Blindly accept what, the whole thing?
B: Well obviously you’re not blind any more.
Q: No I’m not, no.
B: So you can’t blindly accept it, you can now consciously …
Q: Yes! (laughs in recognition)
B: There you are, so that got rid of the blind bit. You can no longer say “Oh I didn’t see that”, because you do see it.
Q: I do see it, yes.
B: It’s you as Awareness that is seeing it. We can pretend we are someone but really you are Awareness. All the power that is of Awareness then can maintain that and you’re just making a huge burden for yourself at some point in this life. By unblinding yourself, which you’ve just done and then ignoring it, you’re going to create your own suffering because now you really have the power to make it much more solid. And yet something says you have a greater knowledge, that what you’re seeking is already what you are. It’s not a question of ‘will you accept it?’ Isn’t it a question of you being unblinded now? You’re not blind anymore. You do see.
Q: I do see, yes.
B: “I once was blind but now I see,” says a very wonderful song. Do you prefer being blind, or do you prefer to see? That’s how it is. Of course there are many who prefer being blind. See what you are really called to.
You are called to really see. Then it costs you all those games because they are of no value any more and you are called to realise Love as your self.
Recognise that what you truly value is a power beyond belief. Now you can see when you’re giving away power to what you see you created and you made yourself blind to. To return that power to your awakening is pretty powerful and to stay with it is real. It will change your life like you have never known before.
In giving power to what your heart really is, you won’t need illusions any more. You won’t need to protect anything anymore because you’re unveiling your heart to you and the entrance to what you are. Value that. Give that energy to being unblended, because the manner in which you unblinded yourself to that activity means you’re really moving to unveil you to you! Use that energy to unveil more and unveil more. Realise that you are bright freedom.
You don’t need to play any more games. Should you play games now that you’re unblinded, you’re going to wind them together much more forcibly. Why would you want to do that? What you seek is what you are so why not head straight home?
You have unblinded yourself. That’s pretty powerful. It means there is Love on the move in you. There is a new light, a new cleanliness, because you have unblinded your heart. Keep yourself unblinded. Return home. Discover the good, which is what you are. You are of incredible value to this earth, and to this universe. Never underestimate what you bring, as a human being, to another’s life and to the whole planet.
The Undoing As Pure Self Awakens
In ordinary everyday reality people, ordinary everyday people like you and I, often go through processes of which they have no real understanding. They have no idea of what is really happening, that their Pure Self is awakening within their own consciousness and is undoing patterns of egoity, patterns of want, patterns of need, mentally, emotionally and definitely sexually, because that is the stuff which builds the universe of consciousness into forms of the universe.
People go through marriage breakups, all sorts of relationship breakups but they don’t complete the process. Very few human beings truly complete a process on any level of energy, any level of enlightenment of a centre all the way through. What we do is we emotionally go through a difficult time and because we’ve identified emotion to be Love, which it is not, we then feel sorry for ourselves instead of caring for our self on such a deep level that it is no longer about emotion, it is about truth, the power of truth, which is real Love.
We go through stuff and we think of it as ‘someone’s left me’, or ‘someone’s unkind to me’, or, ‘that’s a shame’ whereas it is none of that. It is that all this is being pulled and called to realise the Self, even a blade of grass is. That’s what’s going on.
So, someone leaves someone and they have emptied out a level of emotion but it’s still active, it’s still activating in the world. Then these two go looking for comfort somewhere, looking for someone who is going through the same process so they can comfort each other. The higher centres are shut, particularly the heart centre.
Some even make this a partnership and it is not a real partnership. It has no real value in it. It just holds you back from realisation in this lifetime. I am not speaking against the people, the beings, I am just pointing to the unreality of all this.
There’s an immense power at work here that you can divert to keep a few centres that are undoing because your being is awakening in your awareness. You can stop the process fully happening and use this energy to partner up with another. You actually think that something real is going on but you are just having more comfort for a few years until you find that is not going to work. The whole fighting game starts just like it did every time with everyone else. You haven’t gone through the door yet. You are not that deeply true yet.
What You Are Cannot Break
Let the brokenness be known, let the brokenness happen. You are going to find sweetness in the brokenness. When you are really broken, all that can break is what you are not. What you are cannot break and it shines through. See what is opening up in you. See what is coming out of the cracking, what is inside the cracking, rather than the experience of cracking.
Nothing Stands In The Way
B: What calls you to this retreat?
Q: The self-realisation of Being - eternal freedom
B: What stands in the way of the self-realisation of Being? What stands in the way that?
Q: My old self, my old patterns.
B: OK, are you ready? Nothing stands in the way. That is the answer. How can anything stand in the way of eternity? How? Nothing stands in the way. It is the belief, an empowered belief, that you create, Awareness, and put in the way. It is called mind. Nothing stands in the way of self-realisation, nothing. Just the illusion of belief that you are separate, that you are a body-mind. Nothing stands in the way.
Realise whether you are soaking up your little self and you are looking for support for your little self. Your heart, just the tiniest little drop of your heart, is more than enough to support an eternity of selves. But you have to come. You consult your sense of self and your sense of experience, you constantly do, so you constantly move away from what you really are, and yet you don’t because you can’t, because you are the Self, aware and knowing. You build an illusion based around dual experience.
Q: (laughs and laughs)
B: Your laughter is emptying out the duality, the illusion that experience is what you are. Nothing stands in the way, only what you, Awareness, put in the way, because you are the way.
Just come towards your heart, just a little, and then totally belong to that little that you open in your heart. You will find your heart opens and responds to you giving all that you are to that tiny little opening. This is not to get away from your sense of self because that will still be functioning the way that you put it together. Instantly belong to what you deeply know is true and you will begin to function from that level, amongst the dysfunction of how you used to move and operate. Then a new functionality, an enlightened Awareness will begin to move as You.
The Loss of the Drama
If you look, your only pain is believing you are limited. Your only pain is believing that your self and its experience of duality, has anything to do with what you really are. It doesn’t. You have been taught that and you have loved the drama of that, the play. The play of that is giving you self-identification and the loss of that drama is quite a lot for you because you have been enjoying it for so long and investing in the drama.
If you don’t have enough drama, you will need to go and make some more. Very few people can understand the quiet nature of the immediacy of aware Knowing, because it is profound but the profundity doesn’t open up until you stay one with it.
Lift Yourself Up
Lift yourself up - this not an instruction, it’s a pointing. Lift yourself up. Lift your self up with your heart. Lift yourself up. If you’re sloppy anywhere, lift yourself up. If you’re lazy anywhere, lift yourself up. Care for your self in the nature of being true. Lift it up. Lift it up. Raise it up. Then it starts to know What You Are, otherwise it believes it is you.
"An infinite movement in a finite moment is You pouring Love into form. As it pours over, it blesses everyone. No one is doing the blessing, no one is doing the pouring, aware Knowing knowingly aware is action without someone behind it -all one vast movement of Being. It is aware, it is knowing and it can individuate into droplets of unique experience of 'I Am'."
Honesty is the Key, Honesty to Knowing
If you want to find out what's holding in the body, have a look what is holding in the life. What is holding in the life is what is holding in the body, what is holding in the body is holding in the life and what is holding it is Awareness.
That is how one can as Awareness, see that what is locked in my body is already appearing in my life.
See that what my body is made of is made of that which the stars shine in, the sun shines in, the moon rises in, the rain rains in, the clouds move in, the mountains are in. Become that honest and address life from an honest heart knowing. Honesty is the key, honesty to Knowing.
Knowing is pure aware Consciousness. Get that honest. You could even realise the Self, the radiance one truly is. It is all dependent on how deep Awareness will dive into its pure Knowing, instead of attributing its Knowing to life experience.
See Wider And Deeper Than The Room.
Patterns will toss and throw you around.
Only so you can know yourself.
Who knows how long that might take?
It could take one tiny fragment of a second.
The question is, are you ready for infinite Knowing to replace your finite forming?
That is the kind of love that you are remembering you deeply are.
Build a sense of self and person, from infinite Knowing, direct and immediate.
Cease comparing the knowing with the experience within the sensation in the mental body or emotional body.
Respond to the infinite Knowing regardless of the separate sensing of experience...
Rest all your forms into the heart’s Knowing yearning to realise itself.
See wider and deeper than the room.
Soften wider and deeper than the room.
Open wider and deeper than the experience.
Unusual experience can open.
It won't belong to a somebody.
The Invisibility of Your Knowing - The Form Reality Practice
When you move in the movement of The Form, move into the invisibility of your Knowing. Realise Awareness, the invisibility of your Knowing, the unseen-ness of it, it does not have a centre. It is Love.
Move into the invisibility of it, the transparency of it. It is a direct communication of what already is the truth that I am speaking of - daily life. It comes from the realisation of the one as the one and is the one moving.
All levels within the one move within the movement of Reality Practice. So, as Awareness, you move in the practice and you become opened. You move into the unseen. You are reforming your relationship with ignorance. You are reforming the relationship with the deep.
"The reality you are searching for is not distant, it is right Now. The Goodness that you are seeking is right Now. It is the 'I' that is listening to these words now. It has never gone anywhere. It is not in the future, it is not in the past. This living Essence, this living Goodness is Now. It is nowhere else."
"To have a finite form is to fall out of infinite Knowing, until one is ripe enough to be the infinite Knowing in a finite form."
"What you are is Awareness and it knows it is aware and that Knowing is the power of Love, which is streaming the entire reality."
Infinite Knowing in Finite Form
To form what you are and know the form of what you are, you are having to fall out of infinite Knowing. It is like a betrayal. That is why sometimes we feel ashamed to awaken; it is like we betrayed our infinite God or Good but we have not. It betrays its Self to realise what it is because there is only this one.
To have a finite form is to fall out of infinite Knowing until one is ripe enough to be the infinite Knowing in a finite form.
You have to give up the objectification and the containing of power for someone who does not actually exist. Only the Self or I exists.
You Are On Your Own Leash
Realising means to know ‘what is'. Realising also means 'what you give power to'. Power never has and never will belong to a body-mind identity. It all belongs to what you are as Being, aware Knowing. This power belongs to Awareness but it comes from the Knowing or the Beingness that is pouring out of Awareness.
Like a waterfall Awareness is able to be aware in any level of the outpouring but it can realise the total outpouring and the source of that outpouring, which is an immediate bright Knowing that fills the perception. Power then is pouring out of Awareness and fills the perception of the one who is aware.
Awareness through Knowing, direct, becomes absolutely aware of the one and only outpouring, which is the light of Awareness. Awareness, like water pouring down a mountainside or like a cup of water spilled on the ground, can know every level of that pouring.
What is available to you as Awareness knowing the light of Knowing are the levels in which pure Awareness is pouring and streaming levels within the reality of the one who is listening to these words now. In existence that has you Awareness aware of yourself, knowing yourself, this human self. It has you aware of the human self without the need to register the experience of self - 'small self'. You can register 'small self' but you don't have to function from its conditional information.
The habit is that this is exactly what you do. You register power being poured on this human level of forming self and person, you register self-experience which turns into self-importance. The moment self-experience moves, it registers in the body-mind and you immediately go to it because you are on its leash. You are so identified with it that its power moves you. You do not move it. You are pulled by it to protect it and live its insistence on keeping the power to itself.
The moment there is a deeper opening, unless you fully belong to it, you also register what takes place in deeper Knowing in the body-mind and you will run towards that registration that pulls you like a dog on a leash. You run to protect it and to make sure that it is not touched by the depth of the unknown Beingness, which is the one who is listening to these words. It is just unseen, unformed.
You run to protect it and it will speak through you and it will move you. This is not a problem but it is a problem to you who is bright shining free Awareness, pulled like a dog on a leash to protect the power you have given to a sense of self that is an illusion in that it is not what you are. You are Love itself you are freedom itself, you are wholeness itself. That level of you is a living moving experiment. That is why we call it 'experience' or experiential. It is your growing ability to be what you are in the experiential self.
Only in being what you are and deeply belonging to the truth within and yet beyond your heart, the experiential self aligns with what you are as a living way of Being in Truth. True forms then are a living experience of Oneness. Awareness then no longer runs like a dog on a leash to the experience of self mentally, emotionally, psychologically or in any relationship. It no longer needs to defend its right to hold power in separation.
In truth only 'I', this Love that is listening to these words now, exist. Nothing else exists but 'I'. Everything is made of what I Am, this aware Knowing. You fall out of infinite Knowing to form finite form of the infinite Knowing. Somehow by this wonderful miracle called 'I Am' or life, this infinite possibility of being the 'I' of Knowing the unseen (totally subjective) and this 'I' of knowing form, just knowing form made of what 'I am', (still subjective, no objects). I am able to be omnipresent which means to be able to know the deeper opening of the unseen, whilst also knowing my self. I am able to be omnipresent, which means to be able to know the deeper opening of the unseen, whilst also knowing my self. Now without objectifying a self on this level, but knowing 'my Self'. Do you see the difference? No objects. Alignment happens. I am no longer in fear, in distortion or pulled by the leash of what I have made separate and more real than what I Am. Now form is real, a level of reality having real form as pure aware Knowing.
Infinity - The Form Reality Practice
In The Form that is this, the Infinity Symbol: " I know I am and I know I am not. Formed and formless. Omnipresence means to be the presence and abide in the deep, whilst having living knowledge and opening on both the depths of the unseen and its arising forms that have no need to compare.
They are simply rising forms of what I-Awareness realise in the unseen and those forms rise immediately and form. Immediately. They are not of space and time in that they have duration. They have now only, they are not of duration. They vibrate at the frequency of Now. This is actually what is making your body, the form on this level of the one who is listening to these words. This is how Awareness that is knowingly present and aware raises up the level of self by not belonging to it, by not listening to the conditionalities that are still vibing in the fields of separation, realising that what 'I am' is beyond time and what 'I am' is within all times. I have never been anything else other than 'what is'.
What You Are Searching For Is Right Now
The reality you are searching for is not distant, it is right Now. The goodness that you are seeking is right now. It is the 'I' that is listening to these words now. It has never gone anywhere. It is not in the future, it is not in the past. This living essence, this living goodness is Now. It is nowhere else. It has been covered on this level of form by objectifying reality, objectifying a sense of self and not clearly seeing that forms arise within Awareness and Awareness moves those forms by way of belonging to meaning or Knowing. When Awareness, you and I, look at a form we objectify that form as 'other' or we name or categorise it in dualities of like or dislike. We do this mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically, psychically and energetically. We are always splitting the atom, the Atman, the presence of pure living knowing Awareness into parts.
When you awaken, you are returning all those parts and that power to the heart of Knowing. You will no longer be seeing forms as objects. You will be knowing directly as light streaming as pure living Awareness. You are seeing Awareness and knowing the split you have created in body, mind and experience. It will have a strong pull for you if you still favour divided experience more than the deep Knowing which can be said to be the Truth. If you value experience registering in the body-mind over knowing the experience direct and immediate, which is wholeness: 'I am that I am'. No separation.
In awakening your relationship will no longer be objective, it will be subjective towards the 'I' that is knowing ‘I know’. That pulls the entire universe to transform in your Awareness and reform in this moment. You are breathing the universe in, this universe called 'I', it is changed within your deepening and re-formed. It is all taking place Now. To really belong and value this Knowing above any registration of experience in the body mind is to return all the power that you have separated into forms of separate experience to the depths of realisation. Self-realisation, realising pure Knowing now.
This is pure functionality on every level of Awareness knowing it knows. There is never any object in it. There is only the Self knowing itself in its own Self-radiant experience:I am That. Everything else is a division. Awareness awakened to itself brings those parts of the body, the legs of it, the arms of it, the eyes of it, the mouth of it, the torso of it, every part of it, back into pure subjectivity. The parents of it, the mother of it, the father of it, the broken lover of it, the cat and dog of it. Everything is brought back within this moment of pure subjectivity. This is not just self-mastery in that it is not mastery over a self, it the Master within the self; Love. Love makes all good because only Love is the one single Good that has no opposite.
Endless Depths of Mystery
You decrease in the experience of being a 'someone' but you increase in being the direct no-one, the no-body, a power of Love, pure openness, living Awareness that pervades all. There is nothing it does not pervade and it is the one who is listening to these words now. Return your power of objectifying experience to direct heart living Knowing, regardless of what registers in the body-mind. You are called to abide in the deep, abide in the stillness. It Is not a blank stillness, it Is not a 'duh' stillness, it Is THE stillness. It Is living, aware, knowing - sweet delight with endless depths of mystery. A living essence of pure Being that opens up on the surface as Awareness returns the surface of reality to the one that truly is, this 'I' that' is listening to these words now.
The Ultimate Betrayal - The Joker In All This
What you are is Awareness and it knows it is aware and that Knowing is the power of Love, which is streaming the entire reality. The one who is listening to these words now is a stream of that and yet the whole of that, streaming a level reality that looks here like it is separate but it is actually the whole thing.
Begin to be aware that everything is arising in your Awareness right now. Cease objectifying the listener, the speaker. You will be going against your own stream, because to form what you are and know the form of what you are, you are having to fall out of infinite Knowing. It is like a betrayal. That is why sometimes we feel ashamed to awaken. It is like we betrayed 'I', the infinite God or Good but we have not. It betrays itself to realise what it is, because there is only this one. That is why there is a bit of a joker within all of this.
I don't know if you have seen that. To have a finite form is to fall out of infinite Knowing, until one is ripe enough to be the infinite Knowing in a finite form. Give up objectifying and containing power for someone who doesn't exist. Only the Lord exists or God, if you want to put it that way or the Self, 'I'. Awaken to what you deeply are and are able to know and open to. Infinite ways of pure Being, whilst having a seeming finite form that in one breath, expands in the moment of truly forming what is infinite, as the ongoing evolution of this human level of reality. This knows no end.
Divining The Moment
Question: I want to ask about shame and the origin of that.
B: Shame moves along with blame which moves along with anger. They all move together. They are a trio and they're moved by fear. Fear is what they are on.
Shame happens when Awareness identifies with the forms of experience and doesn't realise what it is, that what you are as a self and person is an illusion. This is the tendency on this level of conditionality, which really is in the bright reality space of the one who truly is.
Reality isn't the formed level. Reality is the light in which all experience and even the movement of the wholeness, the unseen, moves, lives and on this level, forms. I am just trying to show what I mean by Reality. So then on this level of Reality, which is form, where infinite Knowing fell purposefully out of infinity in order for a finite moment of forming what infinity is.
When Awareness identifies only with what it has fallen into, which is the objective conditional experience of a self-centre, then you become the one that is doing all this in polarity, in polarities of good and bad, right and wrong, up and down, in and out. When Awareness identifies with the conditional level of reality, then we come upon this shame of ‘ I've got it wrong.’ or even an opposite polarity of ‘I am right’, all from a limited self-perspective, from that identification as Awareness identified with separate sense experience.
When you are awakening, you turn your movement away from trying to get everything right, which creates a movement of getting everything wrong.
This, coupled with a deeper sense of Knowing, is the stirring of energy that comes up in your body-mind as shame and guilt. But really there's nothing you can do as a sense of self. It’s all being done. You’re being drawn back through self experience and you're not to blame. To let go of shame you have to pass through the game and not look back.
Shame is the belief that you ever did anything. If you were to realise the deep, and you can, nothing actually ever happened. Yet the place that is streaming as 'nothing ever happened' is forming in a conditional reality.
Shame simply comes through identification of separate sense experience particularly when you begin to awaken because you have a higher Knowing but you're not applying the higher Knowing as Awareness knows that it knows. You're applying it to a sense of self that doesn't demonstrate this innocence, doesn't demonstrate this movement, so guilt or blame or shame arise.
Apply the higher Knowing and pass through any experience of other, of shame or guilt or blame. Pass through it without identification. Somehow this is a growth movement, this is a movement of evolution that you pass through those conditional experiences that are somehow well imprinted into the present evolution of our societies as a groove.
You can pass through and know the groove but not belong to it. But you'll pass through the experience of those energies, which you're now not identifying with. Somehow that's a growth movement, an evolutionary movement and your heart will begin to shine and you'll return into the realisation that you are freedom itself. You'll find there will be no judgment of others that might convey a level of you that is purveying shame or guilt or blame. Now you're understanding this and you're simply letting it go.
This is a relationship of the Divine and the Divine is the one listening to these words now. Otherwise we would not be divining the moment but we would be dividing it. We are now understanding not to divide the moment in otherness, in guilt, blame or shame. It is the end of fear. The moment is divine and it is moved in a way of divine revelation of Self to one's Self. That's how it is.
Thank you all for coming to the retreat. Thank you all for partaking in not retreating.
Watch a full length video from the last day: " Realising means to know 'What Is'.